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+--- Thread: And the disease goes on (/showthread.php?tid=704)
And the disease goes on - The People - 01-09-2013
For some reason I had the urge to try to find tidbits about nieces and nephews on the internet. One of the first ones I put in was my nephews name. Into the google search engine.
f*ck! He is my father all over again. Well I don't know if he has ever hurt his daughter but as I read stuff about him on a not nice web site it was like someone had written stuff about my male PU come back to life. He is a disgusting human being
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I know why. I saw what happened to him. I was going to tell his mother but I was 12ish and she was a yeller. terrified me. I wrote before about what his childhood was like. he spoke to his mother and she sent me the last of the photos she had of me from childhood Denial is a cement pond in Nova Scotia. This time I sent him an e-pamphlet and it described him to a T. I also told him that I could not help him as it was all I could do to help myself. That no matter what his mother said the things I said happened in the family from hell did happen. He could check with 2 other children of the PU if he did not believe me.
After I wrote him it hit me. I had been carrying this guilt around for 40 years. Guilt that I didn't help him or tell his mother. 40 years! The 'kid' is 44 now. Long past time he helped himself. He can use the information i sent or delete it and continue to be miserable. I do not feel good that things turned out this way for him but he has a choice in all of this.
RE: And the disease goes on - nats - 01-10-2013
yes, he has a choice. all of us do though we often seem to forget it and spend years in comfortable misery. hope you are able to let go of some of that guilt now.
RE: And the disease goes on - The People - 01-12-2013
Working on it. Part of me is angry because of the road he chose. I need to let that go as well.