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+--- Thread: So Sad (/showthread.php?tid=2757)
So Sad - Silent Society - 04-13-2019
Hi all. This is Silent s. Used to come here a lot but haven't posted in a while. Hello to those who don't know me/us.
I am so sad today. A good friend of mine has been going through the foster care process and went to meet some children today that may be her babies. I am happy for her but am so sad.
I was never able to have children for a variety of reasons but the biggest was the trauma and the needing to find some level of healing from that. I am a teacher and have been for many years but was never healthy enough to care for children. Not sure that I am healthy enough even now. I know that I would not have been able to be available enough to children and know that i would not have done a good job. Probably would have caused damage to another. That is not what I would have wanted so I can say that there are blessings with not having kids.
Still I am devastated. I turned 53 in March. One would have thought that I would not still be struggling with this but I am. So sad. Just overwhelming tears today. want someone to know. Thanks for listening.
RE: So Sad - nats - 04-13-2019
so sorry silent s. it's amazing how, even when we know something's the right thing and for the best, it can still really hurt so much. we never had a longterm relationship for similar reasons, just not able, but still feel like we're missing out and sometimes hits us hard. so sorry you're dealing with this. some of the best people we know never had children. they found other ways to share their love and make the world better for children, but it's super hard to want something you don't have no matter what the circumstances. sending peaceful healing thoughts...
RE: So Sad - mosaic - 04-14-2019
echoing nats here - i think some of the most difficult sorrow is that over which we know is "right" and still hurts. being a teacher is an important way for you to share with children. doesn't make up for the loss by any means. wishing comfort and peace for you.
RE: So Sad - The People - 04-18-2019
Hi Silent S. I have no children either. I still get sad. I am glad that you have kids at school. I wasn't even able to do that. I have many issues with it. However, like you I know that I am too ill to parent. For a long time I was a big sister and that helped. I also had friends with young kids and was their playmate. Sadly, where I live now there are no little kids to play with.
Do you have a pet? It isn't the same but it is very comforting to come home to catch a pesky kitty who has escaped into the hall. It gives Two someone to chat with.
This journey that we multiples take is a difficult one. Because the child we are trying to save is the one inside a grown up body. Take care and do something that makes you feel good.