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Control - Snow - 11-04-2018

I have spent a ridiculously long time in denial, but I'm not anymore (mostly), but because I have spent so long insisting that they are all just some of my thoughts, hallucinations, weird coincidences etc. I haven't really tried to work with them.
Now because they are being recognised they are going haywire, and I'm switching all the time and losing so much time.
I just wanted to ask if anyone has any ways that they use to try and have order about who comes out when and somehow giving the kids a bedtime?
I hope this makes sense, I have spent a long time not making sense.
Thank you ?

RE: Control - Tangled Web - 11-04-2018

Hi Snow.
We created a board room inside and had meetings, anyone who wanted to come could come. You may need to set up some ground rules with everyone before the meeting ex-only one person talking at time, talking to others with respect etc...… this gives everyone an opportunity to be heard and then you can start to get to know everyone and figure out what they need/want. It also gives you the opportunity to negotiate things with them like bedtimes and being out time.
That is what we did and it seemed to work pretty well once they understood and communication was established.

RE: Control - The People - 11-05-2018

Hi Snow. I remember that we felt the most out of control when we were first dxd. Lots of switching and, for us, new alters arriving all the time. Eventually T worked with us to help us settle down.

We have internal rules which helped. Like, the littles were not allowed to come out at work. This often meant that the time when we came home was chaotic and supper was toast and PB or cereal. However, allowing them to have that time out (well they took it) they would become chaotic. We never have ad a normal bed time since we were kids. We could never fall asleep like the sisters could. I think it is just our sleep pattern because we always stood guard. But we are also creative and supposedly creative types are night owls.

What helps us now is to try and put a schedule into our lives. Unfortunately we had to stop work a few years ago because of health issues. So we try to volunteer and join a few things. We miss work and the social connections we made there but alas that is gone now. So scheduling is harder. But routines helps us know where we are going. When we need to be there. While we don't always know for sure who will be there when we arrive but we now have an idea who goes to work, for coffee with friends etc.

RE: Control - Snow - 11-05-2018

That sounds like a really good idea! I'm not sure how willing everyone will be to be in the same place, but with ground rules it might be possible to make it feel safe. Thank you ?

RE: Control - The People - 11-07-2018

It will come. They are like kids ate recess. Don't know what to do when they are freed. Good luck!

RE: Control - Cammy - 12-21-2018

The beginning was a hard time for us - especially the denial of "No, they're nuts! This can't be! They've made the wrong diagnosis!" Then over time the realization, finding out the truth for ourselves and the horror of finding out about the amnesia barriers and wondering, "What am I doing when I'm not me?" It's always scary and chaotic at first. But then, as you start to work with it, start to know whose who in the zoo, things start to form into a sort of order. Then you start to find your own ways to bring order to the chaos. Mostly making sure that no one is left out and that everyone gets validation and recognition seems really important. Once everyone knows they are recognized and won't be ignored, things might well settle down - it did for me. Once the settling happened, then the most appropriate persona could comfortably take the driver's seat and represent the whole system to the outside world, with the inside world knowing it would be heard by her when needed.