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I Want To Try Again - Shadows - 05-05-2018

I wandered away from here. Not sure why. But I want to try again ... I don't know how to stay focused and present though and I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to not accidentally get distracted.

RE: I Want To Try Again - just peachy - 05-06-2018

hi shadows I was thinking about you and cammy this week and wondered what had happened to you and cammy glad you came back missed you and cammy ... sad to say but being distracted and having hard time staying in the moment ,having hard time focusing those are all traits that people with did suffer with least that's what I know of from all that I have read and researched from . the main point s that comes to mind to me is when your distracted or have difficulty focusing , or cant stay in the moment to try not to be hard on yourself for not getting everything so perfect .and most of all don't give up .. what helps me is I ask myself what can I do differently that will help me focus better on myself ,and stay focused in the moment ..I noticed with myself that if I try to do too much all at once that's when I fade away and cant focus or stay in the moment ... and so I sometimes get lost in the moment and with me I start spending too much money foolishly and doing too much to help others .just peachy p.s hows the counseling going are you still going are you making any improvement with that

RE: I Want To Try Again - nats - 05-07-2018

distraction is like a double whammy - multiples naturally distract and modern society encourages distraction. hard to win against that! as JP said, don't be too hard on yourselves and remember it's normal. what helps us concentrate is doing something we are really interested in - e.g. we like to write and can get lost in the process of doing that for hours. if we're doing something we don't really like or want to do, then distractions are everywhere!

RE: I Want To Try Again - Shadows - 05-09-2018

Thanks, just peachy. We have just been consumed with working and survival.

It's weird, we have such good focus when it is work. We work so much. But then staying focused on being stable and doing things that would help us get better is so hard. I guess that work is a distraction. Sometimes I think it is my version of drinking or drugs. So I guess I need to figure out how to focus on the things that will help us get better, not just work and career.

I guess that therapy is going okay? We like our therapist and we see her twice a week.

nats, its good to see you again as well. I hope we will be around more.

RE: I Want To Try Again - The People - 05-11-2018

We were like that Shadows. Work was when we could stay the most focused. We had a rule that the littles and middles weren't allowed to be out. However, as soon as we left the office they went crazy. Teens went shopping or drinking. Littles would go home to cats and Two would talk to them as iif they understood. We lived in a madhouse made up of ourselves.

Nice to see you back.

RE: I Want To Try Again - Shadows - 05-12-2018

The People - that describes us so well. So much better than I could have ever voiced. We hold it together for work. I don't know where the little ones are when we work, but they don't come out. But then afterwards .... teens like to drink and socialize. The smallest ones like to color and talk to the stuffed animals. We can't get anything done because they just run the body into the ground since there isn't enough time in the day for everyone to do what they want.

RE: I Want To Try Again - just peachy - 05-12-2018

hi shadows and the people I wish I was blessed as you both are I was just the opposite as you both are and were ...I was a teacher aid in the lower grades preschool to 2nd grade and of course the littles were always out ..I would literally lay down on the floor in the kindergarten class while the teacher was doing a lesson on the calender ..true story one day the principal came in and saw me laying on the floor and got very upset with me and told me to sit up ..needless to say I was quite embarrassed to say the least . but at the time I had no idea what did was .or that I was diagnosed that same year with it ... going back to the early 1990 s my first year working as a teacher aid I also would do stuff like knock the wooden puzzles down on the floor on purpose ,so my littles were able to do the fun stuff they liked and I would not have to be a teacher aid and be the adult . oh yeah shadows I just moved about a month ago but when everything is settled in and I can find the box with papers that I have I will ask a man I know who knows a lot about computers to download on my tablet the chapter from a book on did that a person sent me from another did group that is no longer open anymore .it was funny cuz the psychologist and psych dr and social worker was talking about staying in the moment and 3 things that tells you that you are not living in the moment . just peachy .

RE: I Want To Try Again - nats - 05-13-2018

work can definitely be an addiction/distraction from the 'healing work'. at the same time, healing takes so many years, that most of us can't just stop life for it. we've essentially stopped trying to work on any of our DID stuff, b/c having a semblance of a normal life takes all our time and energy (we don't have a 'normal' life, b/c we hardly socialise at all, but work and caring already take enough of our time). as far as i'm aware, the kids never front, but our daughter has already realised that she's 'older than us'.

i think anyone who functions well in at least one aspect of life should congratulate themselves! life isn't particularly easy and most of us weren't well trained for it...

RE: I Want To Try Again - just peachy - 05-13-2018

HI NATS , I get what your saying I noticed recently I put working on the did issues on hold and its been nonexistent .. mainly cuz I have so much other stuff that needs to get done 1st ..I just moved recently and live on 3rd fl 36 stairs up and 36 stairs down to go out ..but only to contend all over again ...the bug issue again and it still is from previous tenants and not me this time its bedbugs again and moths and gnats ..lots of them ...and I still sleep on a camping cot ..I still have only plastic lawn furniture and folding tables ..its funny cuz at times I feel like a homeless person ive had to live like this for years so I am just used to it as part of my did life .. your blessed that your kids never front sadly mine hardly ever go inside ..I suppose if I practice more I could let them and tell them to go up to the play r oom and relax and have fun ..this mainly why I was unable to work any longer as a t--- aid far to distracting for the littles to be in that school environment and all that playing and yet me as the adult had to work and be in charge....very hard to manage ...

RE: I Want To Try Again - Cammy - 06-19-2018

Shadows: Please don't feel guilty or obligated to consistently post on this site just because you are a member. Every single one of us wanders away for various reasons, often because we are caught up in LIFE. Some people wander away for weeks and months, and some for years. It doesn't matter. What matters is that when you need it, the site is here and waiting and always ready to welcome you back no matter how long the absence. So, no worries, it's all good.