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+--- Thread: So tired of people (/showthread.php?tid=2090)
So tired of people - The People - 04-16-2016
Some SP but only because of location.
I have a gruff voice. I had 10 siblings so I had to be f*ck*ng loud to be heard. To defend myself. As I grew up I fought against depression and anxiety. And DID. So I can still be gruff, though totally unintentionally. And sometimes it is just how it comes out! It is how I talk!
Tonight I was volunteering. There was a woman who came in the kitchen looking for coffee. It was explained that it was all gone. Then I held my arm out to let her get by while I tried to squeeze into the kitchen.
"I was helping you know!" She was annoyed. Misinterpreting my gesture. I said "yes and it is appreciated." She left.
After that this grumpy old man who helps lead the volunteering grumbled "it's not what you say it's how you say it!" He has never once spoken to me in a kind voice since I started volunteering. Actually I was there before him and stopped going because him and the rest of his little foursome. Tonight I got angry and said "Exactly!"
I don't know what to do. I like the volunteering but I don't like being treated in that way. Most people are nice. But I was so mad I could have thrown something. I only do that with unbreakable at home but I was/am just so angry!
How do I change how I speak. People tell me to think before I speak but it still comes out the same. I think it is the crowd. I think it is better for me if I don't go back. f*ck*ng *ssh*l*!
I don't care for the new priest either. I have tried finding another place to go but there are people like that in all walks of life.
RE: So tired of people - nats - 04-17-2016
in my experience, every good has some bad and vice versa. people in volunteer or helping positions are often particularly obnoxious, maybe to compensate for their own feelings of powerlessness or whatever attracted them to that type of work in the first place. obviously not all, but many.
so in any given situation, does the good outweigh the stupid? if yes, then we moderate our attitude by remembering what we like, if no then we stop. other people don't change and i imagine if you changed your tone of voice he'd find something else to complain about. if the good is worth the bad then maybe stick it out and if not then there's no point tolerating it.
RE: So tired of people - The People - 04-17-2016
My problem though is, because I speaking with a gruff voice, unintentional though it is, and sometimes speak before I think I look like the bad guy. And in these situations the anxiety takes over where there are smelly crowds of people and I just want everyone out of my way. But someone snapping at me when I wasn't really doing anything just makes it worse.