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+--- Thread: HELD HOSTAGE (/showthread.php?tid=1937)
HELD HOSTAGE - Harmony White - 09-21-2015
I am Melody the host. For eight years me and the strongest protector Alonzo and I have worked hand in hand to protect and guide the system. Recently he has done a 180 and not in a good way. He has turned against me. He has locked up the others and has taken them hostage. He won't let them talk to me and threatens to push me inside and take over. I don't understand what has happened to him. I've tried to reason with him and so has my therapist, my husband, and my best friend but we are getting nowhere. Last night he tried to take over and my grounding techniques were not working well. I felt like I was going to lose control and that he was going to hurt me. But I did get through it. However I am extremely frustrated. I am out of ideas. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions. I FEEL DESPERATE!!! Please help if you can. My world is upside down. Thanks
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - rainbows - 09-22-2015
Hi Harmony....
We have been in similar circumstances.
For us, it was being in such deep and destructive Grief that we could not go on.
What we did was create another Part to take the largest amount of the BIGFEELINGS of
Great Loss and Sadness.
My point is, we can create new Parts as we need them.Just as we can create
anything in our Inside World that we want.
Perhaps you could create a new Part who could be the Go-Between for you and Alonzo.
How about creating a Neutral Room where you nd Alonzo could meet to discuss
Hostage Negotiations. Whoever takes Hostages usually wants something.
Have you asked Inside to all Parts if there is Anyone who will speak with you ?
When we began communicating with all of Us we told all that we Love them ALL very much
and are Grateful to them ALL for all that they have suffered and for all they do each day
to help us survive.
What about other Strong Protectors ? Usually there are more than one, far as we have known.
Hoping for you.
from rainbows
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - The People - 09-22-2015
My thoughts on this: Alonzo has been there for anyone else. However, has he ever been able to look at his own stuff? Some of our angriest alters cause a lot of trouble because they refuse to look at their own history. I am not saying that this is the answer but could it be part of it? Some alters here get scared when they see progress as they worry that it might be their turn. KA in our system doesn't bother with people much. However, once we were in a situation where someone asked what brought her forward. She got rally pissed. Retaliated by spending money. That is about as mad as KA gets.
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - MakersDozn - 09-27-2015
We agree with The People. In our system, when someone gets in the way of the system's well-being, it's usually because that insider has issues that need to be addressed. Such an insider may resist efforts by others in the system to work with him or her, but it's necessary to do so, so we need to make sure that the rest of us are working as a team and have a good plan.
Melody, we hope that you and your others are able to work with Alonzo so that he learns to cooperate with the rest of you.
MDs
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - Cammy - 10-21-2015
We've just been through a similar episode where one of my teens kept taking over in a very raging out of control manner, and it became harder and harder to switch back to my host personality. My poor husband was in tears trying to get me back one night, so the next day I called my T who is very experienced with DID. She suggested immediately that the teen was behaving this way because she was having major unresolved issues, and suggested that I give her her own journal to write in and tell everything that was going on with her. It worked. Not only did we all understand what was happening with her, and were able to empathize with her viewpoint, but it caused a major breakthrough. She has been cooperative and living harmoniously within the system since. I'm not saying this will work for others, but it is what worked for me in this instance. Since that occasion my T has invited her to write letters to her anytime she feels like it. It seems that being recognized and validated made all the difference for this alter. I've been enjoying a period of peace ever since giving Fagan her own journal and acknowledging her pain and anger.
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - MakersDozn - 10-23-2015
Glad to hear it, Igraine. Several years ago, one of our teens had a similar need. We created a blog where she could say things that she needed to say but which aren't permitted here on the forums.
The current iteration of our blog has been up for about a year and a half, and she hasn't had a need to use it. But others inside do, and it's benefited our whole system greatly.
MDs
RE: HELD HOSTAGE - rainbows - 10-28-2015
We are Glad that yous can have this.
So good to have an outlet.
from rainbows