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+--- Thread: It takes one to know one (/showthread.php?tid=1909)
It takes one to know one - Cammy - 09-04-2015
My therapist specializes in trauma disorders and especially in D.I.D. The other day during a session she told me an interesting fact that I thought you all might find thought provoking. My therapist has a fairly substantial amount of multiples in her client base. Over the decades she has noticed that even though multiples are experts at hiding their multiplicity from others, for some reason we are able to recognize multiplicity in others that we only see for a few moments. She told me that dozens of times over the years as one multiple leaves her office via the waiting room walking by another multiple client waiting to see her, the multiple with the next appointment comes into her office and comments, "That lady/man is a multiple, aren't they?" Of course she cannot disclose this information and tells the person that, but it turns out that they are quite right - they have correctly identified the other individual as a multiple. My therapist has told me that this happens all the time and she asked me if I had ever had this experience in her office. In fact, I have. There is SOMETHING about another multiple that I somehow recognize, but at the time I am never sure if the person is BPD or DID.
I have thought about this a lot since she mentioned trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that I see or feel. The only thing that I can concretely put my finger on is that for me there is something about the clothing, the way they carry themselves, and a sense that there is a lot more going on beneath the surface presentation. There is also a sense that I am somehow looking at myself in a mirror. My therapist has told me that even after decades of working with multiples, she has never been able to develop this instinct. For her it requires talking to the person and engaging in therapy before it becomes apparent.
I am wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience and if so, do you know what it is that allows you to know that the person you are looking at is multiple. For myself, I think that this is an extremely interesting phenomenon.
I am sure that over the years MD has had individuals appear on this site who claim to be multiple and are not. I will bet that they cannot pull off this deceit here since we really have a way of knowing our own kind. Thoughts anyone?
RE: It takes one to know one - The People - 09-05-2015
I had a circle of multiples in my life for a while a few decades back. Just happened. My opinion on it would be that we give off a different sort of energy, causes others to pick up on 'that something' in us. I have also picked it out in a few clients (non-therapy) that I worked with. Actually watched one of them switch in front of me. Tried to talk with the therapist of one of them and she brushed me off. It was hard. The client went back to live with her mother. It was very sad.
To me it is like GLTB issues. How a gay man can pick out another gay man in a completely straight environment. Today it is easier as more and more come out but in my lifetime same sex people had ways of finding each other. And not just in gay bars or mens clubs. Sometimes they worked together. At other times they met through friends. And just knew.
RE: It takes one to know one - MakersDozn - 09-06-2015
Yes. And we agree with The People that it's a lot like "gaydar," wherein someone can recognize a gay person. For this reason we call the multiple version "we-dar." Both our gaydar and our we-dar are pretty accurate.
MDs
RE: It takes one to know one - rainbows - 09-10-2015
Yes, this has happened to us several times. I guess it can be many different things.
Like a certain look on their face, mode of dress along with carriage of body. Many things I guess. Usually one of us will say
Inside, she or he is a Multie, like we are. But we never say it aloud to anyone.
from rainbows
RE: It takes one to know one - MakersDozn - 09-10-2015
It's especially easy if you spot a little being out. We used to have at least two co-workers who we were certain were multiple. We would never say anything, of course. The other person might not even realize it.
MDs