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+--- Thread: Who's In Charge? (/showthread.php?tid=1836)
Who's In Charge? - MakersDozn - 07-05-2015
Who's in charge of your system? Not in the legal, official, or theoretical sense. Who takes charge of day-to-day activities? Who has the ability to override a tie vote in decision-making?
Who is a natural leader? Is it an adult or someone younger? How does this person feel about being a leader and having this responsibility? How do you reconcile your expectations of what it takes to be a leader with what the system as a group or specific insiders are able to actually do?
MDs
RE: Who's In Charge? - The People - 07-06-2015
We have 3 leaders, each with different skill sets. Catherine Hannah and Grey (if you ever see a book with an author using that name it might be us!) When we need someone who an be unemotional and firm when dealing with serious human stuff Gabriel takes over. Mostly he stays in the background dealing with everything from keeping a self safe to helping a new self come forward. But for example, we fired a psychiatrist and had to deal with boundary issues with last T. With Pdoc the guy was a fecking idiot so it was not so hard for him to d. But there was no backing down either. With the PDoc she did something we specifically asked her not to do so Gabriel wrote her a letter. We don't vote. We run like any family. While Two feels that she should have more say because she has been here the longest she is not mature enough to make many decisions. She gets to pick out clothes on certain days and was responsible for the cats which she loved but no votes. Stop nattering Two. We are looking for a new cat and she is choosy over colour and she wants a female (we all do) so she will have input on that. If we voted on things we would never get anything done. Some of the teens would vote no on everything.
RE: Who's In Charge? - MakersDozn - 07-06-2015
Thanks for replying. We enjoyed reading about how you folks handle things.
We think that Catherine Hannah Grey would be a cool pen name.
We can see why you don't vote, given the size of your system. We should clarify that only our adults can vote. The council consists of the five adults, plus Laura and Allegra, because they front so much. We have very firm policies about the relationship between age and responsibility, so in theory, Laura and Allegra don't vote, because they're minors. But they've been running things anyway, so theory often goes out the window. We're working to rectify this.
We also have two or three "spokes-kids" from each age level (littles group and tweens group), as well as a couple of "spokes-teens" who provide the perspective of teens who don't front.
MDs
RE: Who's In Charge? - mosaic - 07-08-2015
i've been struggling to find a way to answer this question... i, Sylvia, am in charge... and i guess my system is the "textbook" host and alters system. the others have never had a lot of interaction with the outside world, other than in t. so all the day-to-day activities have been mine... we've never had system votes or anything. there have been times when someone else is close to the front and those who know could recognize something "different" about me, but it was always so subtle that most people wouldn't notice.
RE: Who's In Charge? - The People - 07-09-2015
Two figures she is the spokesperson for all of the littles. Whether they want it or not.
RE: Who's In Charge? - MakersDozn - 07-09-2015
mosaic....yes, we recall that this is how your system works. During the past year, we've gotten to know more multiples with host-based systems.
The People....It doesn't surprise us that Two figures that she's the spokesperson for the littles.
MDs
RE: Who's In Charge? - Cammy - 07-29-2015
I definitely am fortunate to have but one strong leader - my host personality is in charge almost all of the time. Only certain traumatic triggers bring forth one of my unfortunate others and then it is guaranteed drama. I am happy this doesnt happen often, but when it does, look out! Regaining control, and by that I mean my strong host getting the reins back, is usually quite fast - about 10 to 20 minutes when the emotional intensity of the reaction and the sobbing subsides. My host has the final decision power for the most part, and my others generally are short-lived enough to not cause too much impulsive damage, but sometimes they do their thing quickly and I am left cleaning up the mess. Yesterday one of these 'messes' cost me numerous scrapes, bruises, and a $1200 jewellery bill. Sheesh...when the kids get loose it is mayhem!
RE: Who's In Charge? - MakersDozn - 07-30-2015
Goodness, Igraine....$1,200.00. Wow.
Glad that you at least have a handle on things most of the time, though.
MDs