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+--- Thread: therapy (/showthread.php?tid=1356)
therapy - Tangled Web - 06-22-2014
We have been stuck for awhile now and our T has been trying hard to help but we still haven't been getting anywhere. The thing with us is that we know or I know the things we do to avoid things. I understand they are our defenses kicking in. The problem is that we don't know how to stop that from happening. So T has been talking with us wanting to know how she can help us. The problem with that is that we don't tell people how we work or what we need. To us that is giving them way too much power to hurt us and get to us. We don't let people get to know us. People normally only see what we let them see and over time we have gotten really good at it. It works at keeping things hidden. So this debate goes on inside our head should we or shouldn't we. I know that if I am to do this work she will need to know. But if she knows then we will have to do the work. And that is terrifying.
So after talking with our T about this a few times and her asking very specific questions and she seems to really want to know, I did it. I sent it through emails. I decided to let her get to know me and the things we do. It feels like I just handed over the keys to our castle.........well not the whole castle but at least to the front door. And there has been huge anxiety from that that hits me in waves at times. I guess now all there is to do is wait and see how this plays out. She did respond and said it was very helpful.......I just hope I did the right thing.
TW
RE: therapy - MakersDozn - 06-22-2014
I identify strongly with what you wrote. I even think twice about using the blue flower icon. And I understand the importance of vigilance.
I have great respect for your ability to proceed past obstacles in a way that's best for you.
Rachel
RE: therapy - Tangled Web - 06-22-2014
Thank you Rachel
RE: therapy - mosaic - 06-22-2014
it is a very courageous thing you have done, TW ... we hope you and your t can use your bravery to help you chart new territory in your healing.
RE: therapy - tweeter - 06-23-2014
TW, I am encouraged by your determination and good sense.
tweeter
RE: therapy - Tangled Web - 06-26-2014
Thanks guys.
T didn't go as well as I thought it would I don't understand what I am doing wrong. It feels like I am doing this wrong and I really don't get it.
I was excited and scared all at the same time but also felt hopeful like I had finally did something good to help us in the journey................I was trying so hard.
But it didn't turn out like expected. I don't know what I expected actually ...........bt I know I was disappointed.
I guess part of it was I expected her to show me that she understood how this was such a big deal for me to do, but I ended up feeling like she expected me to do this. Like it wasn't any big deal, like it was an expectation and she was just waiting around for me to do this.........which made me feel like I don't know................angry is one word and I am sure there are others..........
I am very confused.
Tangled
RE: therapy - tweeter - 06-26-2014
I know what you're saying. I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong. You might have the situation pegged. Indeed, T has a strategy of treatment, including expectations of particular results over time. T might have been showing a certain matter of factness to maintain professional distancing from your emotional reaction, And to move you past the intensity of this breakthru. Cause somehow, I feel you could get bogged down there, and so could T. Not sure how that would manifest, but it could.
In my inexperienced opinion, I might say: "So far, so good."
tweeter
