Connections

[finlyalive]

We are new here, so please forgive if we are way off base. I don't normally say anything, but this particular situation is something we deal with frequently. Not just with the t, but in so many, many other ways.

Day after day, year after year, it has been one let down after another. No matter how hard any of us has ever tried to please those around us, we failed. Even when we thought we were doing well, for once, still it was disappointing. Hence, disconnection -- or as I frequently say, "think like a duck, act like a duck and eventually, all things will affect you like a duck and just roll off". You can't be hurt if you don't let it penetrate. Unfortunately, the good often gets tossed with the bad. No matter how badly I want it, need it, crave it, wish for, pray for, beg for it, that force field comes up.

That may not compare, but it is how it sounded here.

Fin

[Tangled Web]

(05-06-2013, 03:54 PM)mosaic Wrote: it is a way of letting your t know what happens "inside the skin"... and that is important information for a t - i don't know how to explain why...

part of it is because what happens inside us does have relevance to our relationships and how they go... and whether we like it or not, there is a relationship between our t and us.

and it has just been my experience that a t is better able to help when the t knows what happens inside us... how else can the t help us work with what is going on if they don't know what's going on?

that's my two cents, coming from both perspectives, being the client and being the t, for what it's worth.

Thanks for giving us your 2 cents mosaic. You are right they do need to know what is going on under our skin so they will be able to help us. I just don't have any idea how to have that conversation with her. I hope I will figure something out before tomorrow.
TW

[Tangled Web]

(05-06-2013, 09:02 PM)finlyalive Wrote: We are new here, so please forgive if we are way off base. I don't normally say anything, but this particular situation is something we deal with frequently. Not just with the t, but in so many, many other ways.

Day after day, year after year, it has been one let down after another. No matter how hard any of us has ever tried to please those around us, we failed. Even when we thought we were doing well, for once, still it was disappointing. Hence, disconnection -- or as I frequently say, "think like a duck, act like a duck and eventually, all things will affect you like a duck and just roll off". You can't be hurt if you don't let it penetrate. Unfortunately, the good often gets tossed with the bad. No matter how badly I want it, need it, crave it, wish for, pray for, beg for it, that force field comes up.

That may not compare, but it is how it sounded here.

Fin

No need for any kind forgiveness to be given, you can jump in anytime
I understand that force field very well. It is very hard to fight against our defenses when they were needed so badly to protect us when we were younger, but as we are much older now and trying so hard to find other ways to protect ourselves from hurtful things, those darn defenses are more a nuisance than a help. They keep out not only the bad but the good also and we sure could use some good in our lives.
TW

[Tangled Web]

Well I DID IT!!!! I let my T know a little bit about what is going on under my skin. I was able to be "real" and honest with her. I got some clarification on some things that needed to be clarified. She told me that I challenge her and keep her on her toes. And that was a good thing in her mind. And I took it as a good thing too. And best of all I found a place to start with her, and I realized that is what we were looking for. So it turned out very well, and I now have a direction to go.
TW

[mosaic]

that is wonderful to hear. good for you! i'm smiling for you

[Tangled Web]

Thanks mosaic

[nats]

excellent!!