Part of a NYC day

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(08-27-2012, 05:55 PM)MakersDozn Wrote: Howdy,

Sorry to hear that the Chinese doctor wasn't the type that you thought that he was. We hope that visiting your karate master helps in some way. We know that karate isn't medical treatment, but it still means something to you.

Laura and her trusty sidekick, WhatsHerName

Hi ya, Laura and trusty sidekick

Yes, but I didn't get taken advantage of, and that was the initial intent. The opening conversation was impressive, with a lady there who had some command of English. I'm not saying they didn't want to help me, but I also knew by the end of the interview that they just wanted to sell me something, whether it was good for me or not. I couldn't believe they didn't know better. Parted on good terms, at least on the surface. People like myself can be deeply resented, even at my limited level, by those who would rather the visitor arrived and remained clueless.
Actually, I think they all shared some English comprehension. I've come across this before. A master will visit a school. He doesn't understand or speak a word of English. A teaching assistant is at his side translating. It's a riot. Give it a week or two, and aforementioned master understands and speaks at first a word here or there for an hour, or a day or so, and then full sentences, and then a lecture. It's a miracle! I've seen this more than once.

If kung fu (not same as karate style, though from terms like "kung fu karate" used to advertise schools, things get muddled) master lets me attend when he or his son teaches, it could make a difference. It's up to them. If it's with a teaching assistant, it would become "why bother?" very quickly, unless this is used as a test of sorts.

Um, medical treatment takes many forms. From the outside, an interaction looks the same but can carry an entirely different energy from student to student when teacher makes the rounds. What is used to fight can also be used to heal. In fact, that is part of mastery. In my case, it's kind of late in the game.

However, I'm ready to get to the roots of my character. In fact, this teacher will know exactly what I'm after, and it's pretty rare for a student to ask this. In the years I was there, I never heard anyone voice the correct kind of concern. So, I will not be asking for healing; I will be asking for help in personal enlightenment, because it is necessary.

In some ways, this has been a wonderful day for me. In another, made me nervous. Glad I'm 3,000 miles away from fm, because during our phone conversation today, he showed something I'm sure he didn't know (or remember after). I'm going very deep into human psychology. Unlike fm, I do want to deal. As he is losing himself, I wish to reclaim myself. He doesn't want that, regardless of some of his comments, and it's upsetting. I needed this teacher's supervision years ago, as noted in another post, and I need it again, to become what I was to begin with, and should have become. I might become more healthy for a while, or not.
Health is not, nor can it be the central motivation. It's like reaching for the rose and dealing with the thorns in one's self, from whatever source. The final question: what thorns or relatively benign flaws (not same as a thorns because flaws not necessarily based in a bad thing) really belong to me, or are the result of external influence (introject), how do the two mix? How do I deal with what I've discovered?

Ha ha! I wonder if this will make sense to me tomorrow? If so, it will make up the crux of the email I send to the teacher.

You're good friends.

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