Feeling stuck creatively

[WendyLee]

Hi nats, we hope the son will have time to help us. he is a very busy guy!

we feel horrible today - much much worse than ever. maybe we are having a minor mental breakdown.... but we also feel like we have the flu, the arms and body feel like lead. we are feeling sad and mad and angry and frustrated. the horrible robber duplex neighbors made lots of noise all day yesterday and we are scared, panicky, and in pain and the terrible ringing in the ears is lots, lots worse.

we have hidden the horribleness of our life & lives from the 2 sons and we never ever wanted to let them know how bad it was for us, and still is, but it seems to be time to tell them even if we do not want to do it.

the sons are 31 and 26 yo and they have their own lives and we keep away to not intrude and do not want them to worry about us. we know we embarrass them a lot and stay away on purpose. we want them to have a strong and separate life and do not want them to be too terribly sad when we die. we have seen too many ppl get too, too sad when they are over-involved with a parent who dies and we do not want that for the sons. the mother tried smother us our whole lives until we went no contact 12 yrs ago at age 44, so we do not want to ever, ever do it to the sons.

the end