Feeling stuck creatively

[WendyLee]

thanks tw. I tend to space out on solitaire or crosswords to get a little relief.

The drama of my criminal duplex-mates is not abating - it is actually getting more intense, and I am getting so triggered and feeling so helpless, a kind of mind game that I am losing to stupid monsters that hurt me at every turn.

My DS is overseas on vacation and called me today since I made a facebook post about some of the drama going on here. I was going to tell him about it when he got back in a couple of weeks. He is 26 but gave me a stern talking-to and I/we had to back off the hyper protection shut-down mode and and listen to him say that we have to get out of this place ASAP, instead of waiting for November like we planned and we agreed to let him find a place and help us move. It will mean lots more mental and physical stress on us by moving and sorting fast, but he thinks getting out of this house is best for us at this point. we will let him decide for us, and we will try to be grateful and graceful and not argue with him even if we really really think we are right...

I notice we are typing small and hate that feeling. we are not good under stress and not good around stupid stupid people who want to manipulate us. we shut down en masse. it feels safe and comfortable. it was the way we survived the past as a child, but we understand it will not work now and we have to let the son take charge. he is a man and he only wants what is best for us, and we do not know the best thing to do at this point, if ever.

we feel sorry for the son to have to take care of his mother, but it will have to be OK if I do not do it too much and scare him away.

I hate being like this.