People!
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The People Offline
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
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#1
Other/All/Unsure   People!
We need an eye rolling sticker,

We met a woman a few years ago. We took up playing scrabble with her. That part is good. But it is frustrating to have conversations with her a lot of the time. She doesn't hear anything I say. Like this evening, I told her that I had some tests done and have been called back for results. Without pausing she went on to her own life.

I get annoyed at times. I know I just have to accept although at some point I think I will tell her that she needs to work on her listening skills. I have actually been teaching her social skills since we met. Things like not chatting on her cell phone just because it rings when she is with someone. She has come a long way but has a long way to go.

The good news is that I pulled out a 73 point word and won the game. I also got out walking.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
04-24-2019, 04:20 AM
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mosaic Offline
just another one of us
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#2
RE: People!
73 point word.... WOW. that's awesome.

as for the rest, i can understand how frustrating it is when someone doesn't listen. i knew a woman for a while who would actually interrupt me to talk about her stuff... i was somewhat relieved when she moved away so i wouldn't have to continue to tolerate her pretense of frienship.
04-24-2019, 08:20 AM
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The People Offline
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#3
RE: People!
Pretense is right, I am sure she thinks I am a good friends. Sometimes I feel like I am her therapist. So yes a 73 pointer really made the night decent.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
04-27-2019, 06:51 AM
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dreamers Offline
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#4
RE: People!
It sounds like she might have Asperger’s syndrome. A really good book that might help her is improve your social skills by Daniel Wendell. Also, she might take it better if you talk to her about specific events rather than just saying she needs to improve her listening skills out of a context. Like if you say something like “ when I mentioned my lab tests, I was actually worried about it and hoping you would ask me more so that I would have the chance to express my concern “.

If you just say it in general she might not understand where this is coming from out of the blue and get defensive. Some people in my system have Asperger’s syndrome, so I have seen this happen ( them getting too defensive to listen when people make general statements about areas that they need to work on.

It sounds like you are being a great friend and very patient with her. I am very dyslexic so scrabble makes absolutely no sense to me. So I cannot really join that bit of the conversation but I am glad you got a score you can be proud of, congratulations
Favorite Quotes:" I didn't mean to be brave. It happened when I panicked"
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" the Only difference between Bravery and stupidity is the context"
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04-30-2019, 04:17 PM
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nats Offline
here and there..
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#5
RE: People!
dreamers you make some really good points! i think this holds true even for people not on the spectrum as most people don't know how to change in the abstract but would understand a specific example (now if only we could remember and focus on specific examples!)
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
05-01-2019, 04:46 AM
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The People Offline
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
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#6
RE: People!
No, she was married to a dr*nk fro years and lost all ability to socialize. She told me this when we first met. On more than one occasion I called her on things and she accepted them. Some people have social disabilities.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
05-01-2019, 05:24 AM
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