Inertia

[Cammy]

What is it about being unable to do a single thing ever? I mean I spend every day telling myself that I'll get stuff done TOMORROW. I just don't do anything. Can't seem to find a single motivation. I am able to take good care of my pets, my kitchen is kept immaculate, things that require daily maintenance get done, but anything extra, forget it. I have about 6 months of laundry collecting in huge laundry bags and I keep waiting to get up and DO something about it, but I don't. It's like I am frozen and that's that. It's a major event when i have to leave the house. Neither my husband nor myself have any interest in visiting other people - too stressful. We both have DID and relating to monominds is a nightmare of pretending to be like something approaching normal and takes up oodles of energy. Way too stressful. The only people we allow in our lives are people who know about our DID and other issues and accept us with open arms, but who totally get it when we just can't be social. I've never quite figured out if i'm incredibly lazy, if it's the DID and the anxiety issues, or if it is the low energy from the hypothyroidism. Maybe it's a combination, or maybe I'm just used to doing nothing day after day. Does anyone else have this problem? Does anyone else find it impossible to do the day to day stuff that most other people seem to do with ease? Once I found my husband and we are quite satisfied with each other's company, we are even less social than ever. The only real outing is church on Sunday and even then we don't stick around for any type of meet and greet - we both bolt just before the end of the service. He at least get things done around the house while I couldn't care less. I keep trying, in my mind, but putting it all into action is a whole other matter. Whatever. This self-imposed isolation and inertia is probably habitually ingrained at this point. I just keep wondering if it is an offshoot of my mental health issues, or just a sign of a bad character. Anyone else like this ?

[mosaic]

for starters, it is NOT sign of a bad character. i dont know the answer to what it is, but i know i deal with the same issue to a varying degree. (my kitchen is far from immaculate so i think you're ahead of me there). i'm not a real social person either, although i crave a good "best friend"... haven't had one in 20 years though.

i'm married to a monomind, so i don't have the same couple dynamic as you - and he's more of an extrovert, while i'm a strong introvert so we have issues sometimes around socializing.

i think you need to give yourself credit for what you do get accomplished - taking care of the pets, keeping your kitchen immaculate, etc. you seem to dismiss that as not mattering because of the things you struggle doing.

just rambling now... i definitely can relate to the idea of inertia... my cluttered house is a sure sign of my inertia when it comes to housekeeping.

[Cammy]

Oh Mosaic - I love you. You've totally made me feel better! Why don't you and I get together, collect all our dust bunnies and either open a dust dinosaur museum or a dust bunny petting zoo? What do you think? At least we know the 'animals' won't bite, and the worst thing that can happen from a litigious point of view is a lot of sneeze attacks. Haha.

I do feel bad about your introvert/extrovert spouse mix. It can sometimes be good in terms of using the extrovert as an excellent buffer between yourself and other people. The bad part, of course, is that the extrovert likes to go out and DO things, and of course, we like to be home bodies. I don't envy you that particular struggle. Although, at least you know when you are forced to go out, your spouse keeps up that terrific social buffer providing you stick close to him and kind of hide half behind him and off to one side.(You can tell I've practiced this move before).

Oddly enough in my relationship, I tend to be more of the spokesperson, and my husband likes to use me as the buffer. He is so bad that I have to sit between him and other people if we're sitting in a row, with him at the end of course. It's funny how my alters jump to the rescue and do the whole social butterfly thing in order to spare my husband. But, oh my, it IS taxing... like vacuuming and dusting are taxing. SIGH.