Looking for experience from others
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The People Offline
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#1
Question  Looking for experience from others
I am about to start a chapter of my book on love. With the exception of small kids and 4 legged babies I don't have much experience with this. In fact I no longer know when to tell what is love and what is just a kind of appreciation of the other person. I have never really been "in love" with another person. Just wishful thinking. What about you?
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
05-05-2018, 11:28 PM
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nats Offline
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#2
RE: Looking for experience from others
in our view, love is really tricky b/c its all about how you define it. if we're very loose with our definition then we've probably been in love for a few brief periods - but more that obsessive kind that isn't deep and doesn't last. if we're strict with the full meaning of it, then only our daughter. reality is probably somewhere between these two definitions, b/c there are so many different kinds of love - we love trees, architecture, art, animals (and some people) in that we like spending time with them and it hurts when they're damaged or destroyed. maybe our approach is a bit autistic..
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05-07-2018, 03:31 AM
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The People Offline
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#3
RE: Looking for experience from others
And I think that is how we will go Nats. We too have had a few crushes but never anything deep outside the animals. we talk to t about our book and brought up this subject. We talked about the guy who had the agape etc. She said that was old school but we may still include a bit of it. we love the dogs and cats. most of the time.
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05-08-2018, 01:07 AM
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Shadows Offline
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#4
RE: Looking for experience from others
We feel confused about love, too. We know we loved our sister. We know we loved our cat. Those were loves that burned deep; we would have given our own lived for those two. But we aren't sure if we have ever loved anyone else. It is hard to know.
05-09-2018, 10:55 PM
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nats Offline
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RE: Looking for experience from others
it often feels like love is a very loaded term, outside people either throw it around loosely, sending emotional hearts and flowers to anyone, or people are so restrictive in its use that it's viewed as a big deal when someone in a film tells their s*xual partner that they love them. i mean honestly, why are they in a relationship for months without feeling something related to love already?

both approaches seem a bit silly to me, but as we said, i don't necessarily have a very balanced view of the whole concept...
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
05-13-2018, 02:33 AM
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The People Offline
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#6
RE: Looking for experience from others
It seems like most of us have similar views. We can love pes, some can love FM. But for the most part intimate relationships don't cut it for us. Too unsafe and the light down that hallways is very dim.
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05-13-2018, 07:56 PM
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nats Offline
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RE: Looking for experience from others
we've often wondered, how is it that so many multiples manage them, or at least manage to get married? seems impossible to us, but obviously some people are much better at this Smile
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
05-14-2018, 05:24 PM
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just peachy Offline
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#8
RE: Looking for experience from others
hi all I was thinking that very same thing this week,about how multiples can even think about or even manage to ever get married..thank you nats I don't feel so strange after all ..I thought it was ust me who thought like this ..sigh of relief just peachy
05-14-2018, 08:54 PM
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The People Offline
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#9
RE: Looking for experience from others
I have met a woman elsewhere who is married to a multie. It has been a disaster. I never spoke to the multie and don't know her side.
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05-15-2018, 03:46 AM
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nats Offline
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#10
RE: Looking for experience from others
a lot of multies here at MM are married and seem to manage it. we've known married multies and their marriages have the usual problems but no worse. always been a bit jealous, but we just can't do it...
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
05-18-2018, 10:59 PM
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The People Offline
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#11
RE: Looking for experience from others
IMO the multie and partner would both have to be relatively stable
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05-18-2018, 11:27 PM
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just peachy Offline
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#12
RE: Looking for experience from others
hi the people what does imo stand for sorry couldn't figure it out ..yeah good point you and nats made I guess its true both parties would have to be stable to make the marriage last . and Nats I am with you on the part apart being jealous of married people that are multies ...it would certainly be really nice to have someone love you and enjoy your company , and accept you as you are which means having multiple personalities ..just peachy
05-19-2018, 10:19 AM
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The People Offline
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#13
RE: Looking for experience from others
IMO + In MyOpinion Smile
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
05-21-2018, 08:08 PM
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