curious how you are doing
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just peachy Offline
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#1
curious how you are doing
HI NOT SURE IF THIS POST GOES HERE MOVE IT IF IT BELONGS ELSEWHERE..2 WEEKS AGO I WAS AT BUS TERMINAL YOUNG MAN WAS STRETCHING HIS MUSCLES AND BENDING NEAR ME WHILE WAITING FOR THE BUS ...SO HE SAYS HE HAS MS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS ..I AM 54 YEARS OLD HE WAS MUCH YOUNGER HE THEN STARTED TALKING TO ME SAID HI MY NAME IS JOSEPH SO I SAID HI TOLD HIM MY REAL BODY NAME FIRST NAME ONLY ...SO BUS COMES HE SAYS THAT HE IS GOING TO THE FOODSTAMP. AGENCY SO I SAID AS I WAS THINKING WHAT DO I NEEED TO GET DONE ..SO I SAID I WILL GO TO THERE ALSO I NEED TO GET A DOCUMENT ..SO HE SAYS WILL YOU SHOW ME WHERE IT IS ? WHERE T O GET OFF THE BUS. I SAID SURE SO I GOT ON 1ST THEN HE SAT IN A SEPERATE SEAT VERY NERVOUSLY .IN FRONT OF ME NOT NEAR ME SO WE TALKED HE SAID HE NEEDS TO JOIN SOME DISCOUNT PROGRAMS SECT 8 HOUSING , FOODSTAMPS ETC...SO BEIN G THE NICE HELPFUL CHATTY ME THAT I AM THE WAY I WOULD LIKE PEOPLE TO BE TO ME .I SAID OH YOU HAVE TO TAKE THIS BUS TO GET APPLICATION AT THIS PLACE HE DIDNT KNOW WHERE IT WAS...SO I THOUGHT INSIDE ME I HAVE TO DROP OFF DOCUMENT TODAY SO IN MY HEAD NOT OUT LOUD I SAID I WILL PICK UP UP HIS PAPERWORK CUZ I NEED O GO THERE TO DROP MINE OFF THERE...THEN IT WILL SAVE HIM A TRIP ..HE SAID HES DISABLED CUZ OF THE MS AND WORKS AS WELL AS GETS DISABIITY..HE WORKS AT TACO BELL ..SO HE SAID HE LIVED IN OHIO AND VIRGINIA HES FROM ONE OF THOSE PLACES ...HE LIVES WHERE I LIVE FOR 4 YEARS NOW ..SO I TOLD HIM 2 TEETH NEED TO BE TAKEN OUT HE SAID HIS 2 DOES TOO...SO ON THE BUS I FORGOT OUT OF THE BLUE HE SAID TO ME CAN U GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU I CAN CALL AND ASK YOU THEM ....SO I AM THINKING THIS IS WEIRD TO SAY TO ME ..I DONT KNOW HIM NEVER MET HIM .HE SAYS THIS TO ME I SAID TEXT ME SO YOUR NUMBER WILL BE IN MY PHONE ....TO MAKE SURE IT ISNT A PHONEY NUMBER HE GAVE ME SO I GIVE HIM MY NUMBER .SO HE TEXT HI IAM JOSEPH FROM THE BUS TERMINAL ..SO NOW I TELL HIM YOU CAN GET THIS DISCOUNT ON YOUR TEETH AT THE STATES CAPITAL WHERE I LIVE THEY GO GET YOU AT OUR HOUSE ONCE YOU SIGN UP BIG DISCOUNT ON TEETH SO IN PASSING I SAY GET THE DISABILITY PASS WE CAN MAKE APPOINTMENT ON SAME DAY . .THEN AFTER OUR TEETH ARE DONE ..FIXED..WE CAN GET LUNCH WHILE WAITING FOR BUS ...THEN GO HOME WHEN BUS COMES HE SAYS OK ..SO I AM WAITNG NOW THAT I GOT MY PAPERS FOR HIM TO GET HIS FOOD STAMPS ..SO REALLLY SWEETLY HE SAYS THANKS FOR WAITING WITH ME TILL WE GO GET THE BUS ...SO REALLY REALLLY STRANGELY HE DROPS THE PEN AND I GO DOWN TO PICK IT UP FOR HIM .HE GETS REALLY MAD AND SAYS LEAVE IT THERE I WILL PICK IT UP ....THE PEN SO I SAY OK ..SO WE PART OUR WAYS TO DIFFFERENT BUSES AT THE TERMUNAL TO GO HOME . SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO FILLL OUT PAPERS CUZ HE HAS MEDICARE SO HE GETS THE FARE DISCOUNT IMMEDIATELY I ALSO FIND OUT HE GETS A FREE ONE TIME EACH DAY TICKETS IF HE SIGNS UP AT THIS PLACE TO HELP HIM FINANCIALLY WORKS TICKET IS FREE 3 OR 4 DAYS LATER I FIND OUT ALL EXCITED I CALL HIM TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS .SO I SAY HI THIS IS MY NAME I SAY FROM TERMINAL .MIND U IT IS 730 PM NIGHT HE SAYS REALLY ANGRY AND FRESH I KNOW WHO YOU ARE SO I TELL HIM NEWS HE GOES OK THANKS I AM LATE TO GO TO TACO BELL WORK BYE ..SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THE POINT I AM WORKING ON THAT IN LESS WORDS TO MAKE POINT . SO ?S I HAVE IS ..I AM TRYING TO TRUST PEOPLE AND READ THEM IN HEALTHY SITUATION S SO END POINT IN STORY I WALK OFF BUS THIS WEEEK HE GETS ON BUS I GOT OFF WITH SCARED LOOK ON HIS FACE SMILES AND SAYS HI FREIGHTENED LOOK .I SAY HI AND KEEP WALKING ..SO I CHANGED MY NUMBER AND TOOK HIS NUMBER OUT ...ADIOS ????? S I HAVE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS .?THAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME ..WITH ME WITH ALL THIS PLEASE WAS I REALLY STUPID FOOLISH AND NAIVE TO PLAY ALONG WITH HIM WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH WITH ME ....THEN HE SAYS HE LIKES TO PRAY FOR PEOPLE THAT NEEDS PRAYERS... THEN HE SAYS HE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO PRAY THE JEWISH PRAYERS IN HEBREW I SAID ARE YOU JEWISH YEAH I AM A DIFFERENT KIND OF JEWISH . .WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO DO WITH ME ANY IDEAS I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW .I THINK WAS I CRAZY FOR A FEW SPLINT SECCONDS . I AM SO FURIOUS CUZ I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS IS ALLL ABOUT ..I GET SO ANGRY CUZ AT TIMES I AM SO CHILD LIKE I NEVER GIVE PEOPLE MY NUMBER THAT I DONT KNOW THANKS JP ...
10-13-2017, 12:03 AM
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nats Offline
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#2
RE: curious how you are doing
sounds like once you figured out there was something off about the situation you extracted yourselves. well done, you can feel proud of yourselves.

if we choose to trust, there will always be people who don't deserve that trust. as long as we can rely on our instincts to close down those relationships when people start to seem wrong somehow, then that is the very best that we can do. good job!
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
10-13-2017, 03:48 AM
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just peachy Offline
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#3
RE: curious how you are doing
hi greetings everyone I am still so perplexed by all of this ! I cant semed to get the point of what any of this means... or what I am supposed to take away from of all of this ...its a normal everyday experience, to talk to strangers everywhere bus terminals airports parks etc I get that .. totally .for example my married friend who has a kid .went to get relative on thanksgiving day at airport.. they met a person there a stranger who would be spending that day alone ..so my friend and her family invited and spent thanksgiving day at my friends house with this person the stranger they met at airport .I know others who went on a cruise met different people on a cruise and then the group they met became friends...and visited each other. .but what I experienced was bizzare , confusing , weird and strange to say the least...to me the host and to all of my alters and personalities .. I cant seem to understand or get , for what reasons he would ask me about 5 minutes after 1st time I talked to him . for my phone number and then say if I have questions to ask you I can call you if I have any questions to ask you ... ..that makes no sense to me .. does it make any sense to anyone in this did group ? it makes no rhyme or reason .. I have seen people act like fools everywhere saying your cute can I call you ? or I have a girlfriend your so hot babe can I call you give me your number but this was not the case at all ....1st of all just for the record I am not saying this in any way as a put down or a negative expression of myself that's not what its about .or about what I am about to say . its just an expression of telling it like is the whole truth and nothing else ..I am 54 5 ft 3 in. 250 lbs .certainly not desirable or sexy or attractive in any way .shape or form ..and that's the way I like it and want it to be..... I am very disorganized, always in a rush , and my look and appearance is always disheveled and messy looking , .. my clothes is generally spotted from spilling things on them and eating and rushing day to day to get paperwork laundry and groceries done from day to day .. that way I don't want to be, but I am working on this daily and trying out different things to change it . now this young man that I spoke of that I met at the terminal is quite the opposite I can generally read people well for the most part . he is spotless in appearance ,extremely clean and neat as a pin as the expression goes ..his handwriting is very neat and grammatically correct , meaning how he writes ... he carries himself well in public ..I also watched how he wrote and what info he gave on the food stamp application ..and it matched what he told me .. so point of reference I am making is ...he seemed very normal and average in every way ..he was sincere and grateful for the info I shared and what to do and at one point even asked me how to answer a question .he said I am trying to save money for a car and I want to be honest what I write here .so what do I put as an answer here . to which I answered ask the worker cuz they know how to get you the most money you can get in foodstamps . I said it cuz I was split in alter and had no knowledge of what to say on application .jp I'm stopping here so I wont lose long post will continue in next post.
10-14-2017, 03:47 AM
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just peachy Offline
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#4
RE: curious how you are doing
now I will continue .when he was done at the agency he even said thank you for waiting for me and how to get here .as we went to take the bus to the terminal .. he said it so sweetly so sincerely . ..but what was so really puzzling to me is the way his approach to me in general was very kind nice manners and so confident in the beginning ..not sure if it was me the host or an alter that was thinking in my head this , when I met him .. I was thinking .like wow he is so nice so relaxed and comfortable nice manners a real gentle man .. .like someone I have known a long time ..I even was thinking he is so warm and comfortable to talk to . I also noticed as he was talking to me he had this deep stare while he was talking to me ...and the same deep stare as when I would talk and speak to him .. so then he had said he lived in Virginia and ohio . I couldn't figure out if he had said that he lived there in those 2 states and or was born in one of them. .. or that he was born elsewhere . he definitely said he lived in both of those states.. .that part I remember .. cuz when he said it , all these questions came flooding to my mind .. .. as he was talking .. I was thinking why did you move here where I am living for 4yrs ... and why did you live in and move to 3 different states... and yet you are also so young ... are you running away from some bad situation that you got yourself into .. or are you running away from some bad people that you got involved with .. but.what makes this so hard and so difficult to understand is that the did that I have only makes things so much more complicated cuz IT interferes with me acting and being normal ... and level headed and clear thinking ...SO THATS WHY I NEED YOUR HELP AND AM ASKING AS MANY OF YOU THAT IS WILLING TO HELP ME BY JUST GIVING ME YOUR HONEST GUT WRENCHING OPINION AND THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS , AS TO IF YOU THINK THAT IS THIS A NORMAL EVERYDAY PERSON ? AND SITUATION ? WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THIS PERSON ? ..DOES IT SOUND NORMAL ? OR DOES IT SOUND WAY OUT OF WHACK ..DOES THIS MAN SOUND LIKE A NICE PERSON .? I COULD GIVE YOU SOME SIMILARITIES OF STORIES I HAVE HEARD OF ON TV AND SEEN AS WELL AS THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ..BUT I WONT CUZ I WOULD NOT IN ANY WAY WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE OR MYSELF..CUZ I CANT FIGURE HOW TO PUT WARNINGS ON HERE OR HOW TO SCROLL DOWN .. I HAVE TRIED LOTS OF TIMES AND IT NEVER WORKED....IN ENDING I WANT TO SAY I HAVE NO CONTROL AT ALL OVER MY ALTERS ..AND THEIR BEHAVIOR AND ACTING OUT IN PUBLIC AS MUCH AS I TRY....AS WELL AS THEM COMING OUT ..I AM TRYING MY BEST AND LEARNING ALOT FROM FROM THIS GROUP AND VERY GRATEFUL THAT IT IS HERE FOR ME AND OTHERS TO BE A PART OF AND RECEIVE AND CIVE HEALING TO IT ...I AM STILL TRYING TO FIND A COUNSELOR WITH DID KNOWLEDGE ..AND TRYING TO JUST COPE WITH DAY TO DAY LIVING ...JP..
10-14-2017, 05:33 AM
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nats Offline
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#5
RE: curious how you are doing
bottom line, if you are not continuing a relationship with him it doesn't matter what kind of person he is. from what you've said, it sounds wise not to continue any contact or relationship with him.

what is it that you are scared of?
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
10-14-2017, 09:26 AM
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just peachy Offline
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#6
RE: curious how you are doing
I AM SCARED OF THE LACK OF CONTROL OVER THE ALTERS .. I DONT ALWAYS THINK AND ACT RATIONAL EVEN IN WEIRD OR DANGEROUS SITUATIONS ..IT MAY SEEM AND APPEAR THAT I AM THE HOST PERSONALITY ACTING IN COMMAND BUT IN MOST TIMES ITS NOT ...PESONS HAVE POINTED OUT TO ME MOSTLY THAT THEY SEE AND HAVE SEEN THE CHILD ALTERS ...NOT THERAPISTS BUT PRIESTS I HAVE KNOWWN AND BUS DRIVER THAT I KNOW LONG TIME .. MOST OF THE TIME IT IS BASICALLY LOOKING AT A BRICK WALL AS OPPOSED TO A GLASS WINDOW ...I WILL GIVE AN EXAMPLE FOR OVER5 5 YEARS NOW 3 MEN HAVE ST ALKED ME DAY AND NIGHT ....AS STRANGE AS THAT SOUNDS ... YES THIS IS TRUE ..TOTAL STRANGERS 2 BUS DRIVERS HAVE SEEN THEM VARIOUS TIMES ..FOLLLOWING ME I CALLED POLICE THEY DO NOTHING I PUT IN A WRITTEN REPORT TO THE POLICE ...2 BUS DRIVERS AND I FOUND SOME INFO ABOUT THEM OVER THE YEARS THEY ARE RELATED TO A STUDENT I TAUGHT IN KINDERGARTEN ... I EVEN REPORTED THIS TO THE POLICE ABOUT THIS KID THAT IS 23 YEARS OLD NOW TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE STALKERS .BEING RELATED THERE IS SOME DRUGS INVOLVED AND DEALING RELATED TO THIS ..THE STUDENT AND THE STALKERS DIDNT KNOW I WAS HIS TEACHER AIDE ...ITS COMPLEX SITUATION SO I WENT GO INTO IT ... SO ITS NOT AS SIMPLE WITH THIS SITUATION .AS WELL AS THE OTHER SITUATION AT THE TERMINAL AS THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER LIKE YOU STATED ....THERE NEVER WAS A RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH ..IN EITHER SITUATION IT IS A SICK FANTASY THAT SOME SICK MEN CONJURE UP AND WONT LET GO OF ....AND SO WHAT HAPPENS IS I CANT CONTROL MYSELF OR ALTERS SO I CONTINUALLY GET STUCK IN TALKING TO PERSONS I DONT WANT TO TALK TO OR HAVE ANY PART OF ..SOME PERSONS HERE AND OTHERWISE HAVE ISSUES AND ARE BLESSED WITH THE DID THEY DONT HAVE THESE ISSUES THAT I HAVE AND THEY CAN WORK I CANT WORK NOW CUZ OF THE DID ..SO THESE WEIRDOS SAY STRANGE THINGS TO ME AND I RESPOND WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT I AM DOING ,OR SAYING AS WELL AS WHAT ALTER IS OUT ..SOMETIMES I CATCH ON AND SEE WHATS HAPPENING UNTIL AFTER IT HAS HAPPENED PEACE AND BLESSINGS JP
10-14-2017, 07:48 PM
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nats Offline
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#7
RE: curious how you are doing
are you seeing a therapist? this is the kind of stuff that multiples need to work on in therapy. personally, we think its the wrong or at least a disrespectful approach for a 'host' to try to 'control the alters' as imagine if you're in a room full of people, even if you want to lead them somewhere you wouldn't expect to 'control' them. we have to learn to live with and work together with each other. speaking as a fronter, but non-host, the more someone tries to control me the less likely I am to cooperate. the same is likely true for a lot of non-hosts..
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
10-15-2017, 05:59 PM
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just peachy Offline
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#8
RE: curious how you are doing
hi no cant find one with did experience to help me .. there is none in my local area to find .. its even hard to find a good counselor even with no did experience ..cuz the way I look at it the ones without did knowledge are just like babysitters or daycare workers ..really who needs that ... interesting point made .true never looked at it from that point of view saying don't control them but work with them interesting ..iin the other group the moderator would say same as you you are not controll ing no alter they just do what they are going to do jp
10-15-2017, 07:55 PM
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The People Offline
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#9
RE: curious how you are doing
It is possible that he is a person with absolutely no boundaries. He may have meant it when he asked for help. What I have learned to do (because part of me wants to be Superwoman) is to suggest that his best answers would come from calling the office and leave it at that. However, if you got creeped out, go with it. Better safe than sorry.

He may just be looking for friends and doesn't have a clue as to how to go about it. But that is not your issue.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
10-23-2017, 11:51 PM
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just peachy Offline
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#10
RE: curious how you are doing
thanks for your responses nats and peoples ..I saw him again at the bus terminal ..as I got off the bus he was walking to get on the bus ..he smiled and said hi he looked like he felt guilty, like he knew he did something not right ... I looked and said hi ... then he walked away really fast .. I am just like you said you wanted to be the peoples a super woman ..1 know you fellow group members mean well ,, and you are thinking its no big deal when I gave him my phone number and I went to the food stamp agency ..with hi m on the bus but it is a very big deal.. he is a total stranger ..I don't know him at all he could be a drug dealer or a sexual offender or an alcoholic for all I know .... he also is really young .. so many questions , I typed in my last 2 posts .. whats his angle on all this ? I too at first thought he is being nice he want s to be my friend , not so he has lived here 4 years where I live .. why wait 4 years to apply for food stamps he never applied for sect 8 housing either in 4 years ... makes no sense he had a car before ,he didnt dare say why he doesn't have a car anymore .. he never said why he has lived in 3 states in such a short time ..... why me oh lord I don't get any of this .. I am scared for my life for a lot of reasons as I write this I truly fear for my life .. I am in so much danger .. he definitely got my message clearly ... I changed my phone number. so he cant contact me ..his great loss not mine,, see here where I just switched to different alter ..I could feel It the way I am writing I just have no clue to which alter I switched to this is so scary I am all alone .. he works part time taco bell and gets a disability check for ms ..he is saving to get a car ...I found out about a program where he could get 1 free bus ride on a van each day that he works ..but I never got to tell him about it cuz he cut the phone call short .. so you see I don't see him at the bus terminal but if I did ..I would end up falling for his poor little me act,, worst case scenario I didnt even want to go with him either but I did .. I am not sure how to explain all this ,some one inside takes over and makes me do things I don't want to do ..very dangerous things I don't have control over.. .so that's why I don't know how to lead them to do good things ..I try real hard and the host is never able to come out .. any thoughts would be graciously accepted .. .beleive me when I say this is definitely just the tip of the ice berg .....I am sorry I am ranting on and on but its just a big mess I got myself into there is so much more then this one story there are many others similar to it .. I will continue if its ok I am grateful to be a part of this group ,, that people care about what happens to me as well .. ...thank you peace and blessings to all of you I will write another post separately so I wont loose this post...jp
10-24-2017, 11:38 PM
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