New member needs help

[nats]

what you describe is abuse. it doesn't really matter if the abuse stems from childhood issues or neurological ones. if you are concerned about your children's safety and/or your safety it is better to leave. if you simply can't deal with it anymore it is also ok to leave.

if his people aren't able to show boundaries with his family, despite the fact that they can at work, then that is something that he and they are responsible for. you can't actually help with that unfortunately.

it sounds like a very tough situation and and can't presume to tell you what would be the best thing to do. we're opinionated on many things but we know we don't have all the answers. maybe it might help to think what you would advise a friend to do if she described herself and her children in the situation you are in?