New member needs help

[Phoenix1221]

Thank you, Igraine. I appreciate your insight and support. For years we had no idea what was happening; I honestly just thought he had a really bad temper. I think he is still a bit in denial about what is happening...the first realization was just in December. I like the idea of deciding how to handle ahead of time. When he switches, he can't see it, and he gets very angry if I talk about it.

So, we see the same therapist. Just switched in May; had seen a previous therapist for 4 years without much progress-and no DID diagnosis. New T is experienced with DID and trauma, but my husband seems to be reluctant. He throws himself into work (always has, but more do lately). it is his safe place. But makes home Very lonely for me and boys. Also frustrating because that energy could certainly be useful for healing. But, maybe he isn't ready yet.

T has made it clear to me that some of the behaviors are definitely abusive. How do you make the boundary clear? With the angry alters showing up more often, I am concerned that the boys will learn these behaviors that are not ok. I tell them that, but they are seeing it, feeling it. Everyone is tense. It's really awful right now. So, how do you create clear boundaries for no abusive behavior?

These episodes are crazy making--my husband doesn't always remember what he has said, then denies, tells me I'm "creating my own reality". Counselor wants to see us together, this week, but he is still saying no.

So, that takes me to my biggest fear, which is that maybe healing is just too scary and painful. Struggling

My husband is a good man. He cannot remember most of his childhood. It makes me so angry that this stuff from the past is dominating our family life. T said it would get worse before better? Can you or anyone else confirm?

Thank you!
Phoenix