Disposable people

[Cammy]

Doing years of palliative care for my main perpetrator was very hard indeed, but now that it is all said and done, I would do it the same way. It brought us to realizations about ourselves we would not otherwise have made, and I believe that as a whole, we are much stronger. Now that the perpetrator is dead, we can mourn for those parts of us that were attached emotionally, and we can truly feel free for being released. It is a mixed bag of emotions, but there are lessons here that we needed to learn. We are still not sure what all of these lessons are, but a part of the whole scheme seems to be a degree of pity for our perp and unconditional forgiveness. I know that forgiveness is not always possible, so I feel blessed that I can forgive. My husband never had the opportunity to come to a place of forgiveness, and given what all was done to him, I can't see him ever forgiving. I am just glad that I had the chance to care for my mother in ways that she could never have taken care of me. For some reason this is a healing thing for me.