A book.

[dreamers]

Our pastor once said forgiving means giving up the right to punish. It's not saying everything someone did is okay but rather giving God the right to judge and punish. The analogy is taking the person off the tiny hook we humans can fashion and putting them on God's. If that person is doing their best to establish a safe relationship it could mean meeting the half way but if they are still behaving in harmful ways it doesn't mean we have to reconnect just to let unhealthy stuff continue. This idea has been the most helpful for us on the subject.