Patience and the Healing Process

[FreyasSpirit]

In the past, we have alternated periods of healing and periods of just living and enjoying the healing we have done. Sometimes, we are in pain and have a strong desire to heal and actively work on healing. When we have healed enough or when time has passed, that particular pain fades into the background and often we just don't focus on healing for a while, but rather building our life.

We know there is more pain, possibly even the same pain and we will have to deal with it when it comes up, but at that moment, we are able to live. We know that when the pain comes up, we may have to put other parts of our life on hold so try not to commit to anything which cannot be dropped if we have to curl up in bed to process things. It is frustrating that we are broken and have to limit ourselves so much, but we have built our life to work around that.

We are not sure how accurate this actually is, but on a first pass, it feels like the times we get impatient and want to heal are the times when our pain is directly impacting our life in noticeable ways. We want to try to find the sources of pain which are directly affecting us and resolve them so we can move on. Often, the background pain is just something which is there which we can work around and a lot of the deeper stuff has been put into this category. The last time we tried to actively find sources of anxiety for weeks, we believe not being able to find the sources of anxiety was a source of anxiety. We ended up releasing that, taking more time for ourselves and just letting time pass. Sometimes that is really all we can do, curl up in bed and do as little as possible for a week and just let time pass.