Incredible day

[Tangled Web]

I just had the most incredible session with my T. She offered to see me on Saturday and I accepted because she didn't have any time last week.
We needed some clarification about a few things. I found myself thinking about her a lot lately and this relationship we were trying to make. I wanted to tell her what I wanted and how I felt but I was too worried that she would think I would be come too dependent on her. So I talked to her about it. I started the conversation with her telling her I was worried about her thinking I would become too dependent on her and she told me that she would find it very hard believe that I would ever become too dependent on anyone. That was SO good to hear. So after I told her what I thought, she told me that that wasn't me wanting to be dependent on someone, that was me wanting to have a connection with someone. AND she actually told me she encourages that and it would be extremely hard for me to heal if I didn't have that connection with her. I was absolutely in amazement and shocked. It was so wild. So after that subject went so well I decided to take it a step further and ask her if she thought it was wrong that I spend a lot of my time focused on therapy and that I know therapists usually talk about keeping a balance and she looked at me and said, she doesn't expect me to keep in a balance in life right now because I have a lot of things to learn first and deal with before we even look at trying to find any kind of balance. She thinks it is a good idea to focus on therapy(I still go to work and function) and that is showing her that I want to start taking care of myself. Therapy is also about learning how to take care of yourself and again I was in awe and shocked. She totally understood where I was going from and I left like we completely on the same page, it was so awesome. Well then we talked about a few more things and we were ending the session and she gave me some homework. I looked at her and said well can I give you some homework and she was a little surprised and said well ok. I asked her to write out what she thinks about me, well actually print it out because she told me her writing sucks and people can't read it. I told her the reason I want her to do that was so I could read it when I felt like I was losing this connection with her and it would help me. WELL she asked me if it was ok if she wrote it in a blank card and gave it to me that way and I said yes. I was so unbelievably shocked with myself but I did it and she said yes and it all worked out. Then when the session was over we usually shake hands but this time I asked her for hug and she said absolutely. She has offered me hugs before but I have always said no thank you. So I got a hug and left.
I feel like I have been on cloud 9 ever since. I don't remember the last time I ever felt this good. It is totally and completely amazing!!!!! She actually "gets me" and totally understands what I am talking about. Oh we also this conversation about logic. I told her that ya I know the logic behind why things were the way they were......(issues with my sister-longer story for another time maybe) but it still doesn't stop me from being angry that she wasn't there for me. And my T said well that is because logic and feelings are different, things will change when I allow myself to feel the anger and process it, then I will be able to have the logic and accept it. She didn't expect me to just have the logic and get rid of the feelings.........she encouraged me to feel the anger and totally understood what I was saying.
Well thanks for listening! I just wanted to share my incredible day!