is this a bad thing?

[nats]

agreeing with others here that there's nothing inherently wrong about living for others (indeed, it's what get's people sainted in christianity - though saints aren't perhaps a great example of healthy balanced living).

mainly just wanted to say, before you criticise yourselves for not breaking the cycle entirely - emotional abuse is bad, but it is also very normal and happens in most families to some extent and is very different from what you were raised with. just something to consider..