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+--- Thread: "Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention (/showthread.php?tid=557)
"Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention - Katz Krew - 08-15-2012
Ok so as I've said I've been "I" for over a year. In T I've been discussing and exploring allowing myself to feel and express anger at my mom. I am doing EMDR and 2wks ago when I got closer to feeling the anger I hit a wall, got very sleepy and had to admit my resistance to going any further. T suggested I do a "conference room" to see who was blocking my ability to go further and actually feel the anger. Mom passed in 94 so it's. Not an issue of fearing losing her love.
So last wk i went to conference. Now I was perfectly happy being many and had no plans to "I"...then it happened naturally. I am happy being "I-d'" but also do not fear splitting again. In conference room I met "Sleepy Jean" who I had never met nor knew existed. She is very young and gets sleepy and shuts down when faced with stressful situations.
Now I'm a bit unsettled with conference room. Again I don't fear being many but really enjoy being "I-d". I must say that whenin conference the insiders present as "etheric" in how I see them rather than bodied. Almost like foggy ghoststhan bodies as they used to be.
Just needed to throw that out there. I think I need to tell T about my unsettledness so. We can explore it further.
Thanks for listening
RE: "Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention - mosaic - 08-15-2012
i remember how unsettling it was to find someone i didn't know about before. good idea to talk to your t about your conference room experience and how unsettling it was for you.
RE: "Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention - Katz Krew - 08-16-2012
(08-15-2012, 08:14 AM)mosaic Wrote: i remember how unsettling it was to find someone i didn't know about before. good idea to talk to your t about your conference room experience and how unsettling it was for you.
Thanks Mosaic. It's weird cause I always felt I had many insiders that were unidentified but in identifying her things got very disturbed and stirred up inside. I have been unsettled since my last appointment and not connecting/engaging with people when we are talking. Huge amt of dissociating happening.
I will say she explains a lot of why I've spent so much time sleeping away my life.
I also do feel some anger toward her even tho I do understand why she developed that safety mechanism.
My T appetite got chgd to today but when I woke up this morning I was so overwhelmed with facing the day I cancellled all my appts ànd went back to bed. This is very unlike me. I do not cancel T just because I resist facing issues.
Normally I would go and admit I'm resistant and we'd talk it out.Now I'm wondering if "Sleepy Jean" is loose? I don't feel splintered but that could be hidden from me right???
<3
Jamie for Katz Krew
RE: "Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention - Elizabethn - 08-18-2012
Dr. Richard Kluft, one of the "DID pioneers," wrote about telling therapists, "The first final fusion isn't."
I have had many folks join over the years, and some have moved apart and back together again as it suited them. There are always reasons for this.
Also, in looking at your two most recent posts, I see you as dissociating in a way that does not involve splitting or switching. That, too, is something I experience a lot.
RE: "Conference room" jitters...light "I" mention - Katz Krew - 08-19-2012
Thanks Elizabethan. I don't feel like I've split but I am very aware of the dissociation happening. A lot of "aha" moments came to me whennhashing this out with a couple of friends. Don't have time to get into it noe but will prov post about it when I do.
Thanks so muchnfor responding.
<3
Jamie for Katz Krew