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+--- Thread: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off (/showthread.php?tid=2780)
Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - dreamers - 05-12-2019
Daniel asked us how we know that the Bible is true then he got mad when we tried to answer. It’s like he was only getting us on a topic to get annoyed on purpose. We almost just said okay bye bye for good Daniel we got so angry and hurt
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - nats - 05-12-2019
this can happen, especially when people feel pressured on a topic or uncomfortable. when you care about someone who has different religious beliefs than you do, the wisest option is usually to avoid discussing religion with them. i know you're worried that he won't go to heaven with you and maybe really want to talk about it, but it may just push you two apart. people come to things in their own time. if this doesn't fit your situation at all, obviously just ignore it. good luck!
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - The People - 05-12-2019
Cannot remember if Daniel is alter or external friends. If religion is important to you but not to him it is a subject that should be avoided. Two things that cause arguments between people who are frozen in place on their differing opinions are religion and politics. And hockey if you are Canadian.
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - dreamers - 05-12-2019
Hey guys,
Daniel is the mentor who has become like a dad to almost everyone in my system. Nats is correct we are worried however we usually avoid the topic of religion. It just threw us because he asked out right. So, we figured if he was asking it meant he was inviting conversation.
Although I wasn’t fully at the front and out at the time, I think he probably asked because he was wondering why we bother with Biblical studies as a school major.
We have come up with a few strategies for if it happens again. I have told my littles and middles that it’s okay to say that we need to think ( and pray about... although probably better to leave that bit unsaid) how to answer his question and that we’ll get back to him soon.
Option 2: turn the question back on him. Like ask how he knows it isn’t true and then go into listening mode.
Option 3: say that they need to get a big since it’s a grown up question and Daniel knows we are multiple although I don’t think he quite gets how separated we actually are. Like I think he thought that I, as the adult would automatically be able to respond even though it was a teen and some kids sharing the front. Like he thinks I am always in the background, aware of the front and able to jump in at any second which might be why he asked even though I was not out.
Apparently, Daniel’s behavior triggered the kids too because we had a preschool teacher who would ask questions just to trap us ( not religious questions... more simple than that. For example, she once asked what our favorite day of the week was. She asked our whole class. Anyone who said either of weekend days got in trouble for “ implying in a backhanded way that they didn’t like her”
I don’t think 3-7 years olds are capable of being that coded in their answers but she thought so and that’s the only thing that impacted anything
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - nats - 05-13-2019
those responses sound really good, especially the turning it into a question and listening one. agree it's likely Daniel doesn't fully understand how your system works, since most non-multies struggle with it. it's wonderful that he's trying and you have this kind of relationship with someone. can understand how the question might have triggered people, especially with that kind of memory of your former teacher.
you have really good ideas in place for a next time though. that's how we learn to navigate relationships i guess
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - dreamers - 05-15-2019
Thanks nats,
Yeah I think it’s probably more confusing for him because there’s one little named Katey in my system who I am co-aware with unless the situation is very stressful for me and she blocks me. Probably 98% of the time she and I share the front. It’s only at the H, during the middle time where no decisions need to be made that she’s solely out. So, I think Daniel thinks that all of the kids share the front with me like that
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - The People - 05-15-2019
People used to ask us how we could attend church and believe in God after all we have been through. We would answer that we had to do so. We are red dot and because of what we went through, what we were told, we needed to believe there was an alternative. These days we struggle with it. Like heis there but not for us.
Everybody has their own answer as to why they need or what to have religion in their lives. Or why they don't want it.
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - dreamers - 05-15-2019
If we went through red dot stuff I don’t remember it. For me, church and the H for med stuff, were the 2 safest places because neither of the 2 ab*sers I remember would go within a mile of either. Hence why I am working on getting chaplaincy licensed
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - nats - 05-15-2019
that sure makes sense. we all seek those places where we felt best.
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - The People - 05-19-2019
In elementary school, school was the safest place for us. Even the mean teacher couldn't get to us because nothing she said or did could out do what awaited me at home.
When we were really little swings were superb. We could stay on them for hours and sing to ourselves. Whichever littles (or the root person) was out, they would sing away. Even today if we find a swing in our size we will have a little swing for old time sake.
RE: Daniel asked a question just to argue with us and tell us off - dreamers - 05-29-2019
We have a gorilla gym swing. It has been put back up since we moved but it is super fun. Thanks for the support guys