Members of the Reading Room Committee looked through a myriad of sites and identified specific articles and information thought particularly helpful and interesting for topics suggested by the community. If you find an article you think should be included here, please send the URL and a short description to [link contact page]. Please report broken links to [link contact page].
Please note that all links listed in the Reading Room may contain information triggering to an individual. While cautionary comments have been added to the descriptions in some cases, these are not guaranteed to be comprehensive. You are responsible for your safety while reading any of the information.
- 7 Standards for Effective Parenting
To help parents grow emotionally and physically healthy children, KidsPeace offers these "7 Standards for Effective Parenting."
- PTSD and Parenting
Many survivors of child abuse did not have their emotional needs met by their parents. Thus when it comes time for them to raise a child, they are often unaware or unsure of how to fulfill their own children's emotional needs. This article explains some of the emotional needs of children and gives tips for how to respond to an infant in healthy, nurturing ways.
- Reclaiming Sex: Tips for Multiples, Survivors and Significant Others
- this includes tips on preventing/handling flashbacks, protecting littles, assertive communication, etc. and has an email link for questions or comments about the page.
- Sexual Abuse Survivors and Sex
This is a very good article about how survivors of sexual abuse can become more comfortable with sex. It discusses in-depth the many sexual issues faced by survivors, including associating sex with abuse, vulnerability, sexual orientation, internal and external safety, trust, fear of intimacy, feeling disconnected from your body, and triggers during sex. It contains many ideas for overcoming all of these issues and reclaiming our sexuality as a positive part of who we are. WARNING: graphic adult content
- Dealing with Angry Children
This article offers advice on working with angry children from the adult's perspective.
- Defusing Anger and Rage
This article explores destructive and positive examples of how to deal with anger. Use caution, as there are some general references to abuse and revenge as outcomes of negative anger.
- Exploring Anger with Children
This article starts with describing beneficial results of anger, then goes on to discuss healthy ways to express anger, the effect of holding in anger and how to recognize anger, and key points to keep in mind. Although not written specifically for multiples, these concepts can be applied to insiders within, and use the material to help identify angry child/adult insiders also. The material may be triggering if anger related material is triggering. Additional warning: the article's subject discussion is of a parent/child relationship that could be triggering.
- How I Work With Anger
Written by a therapist, this article gives a very in-depth discussion of the differences between anger and rage and negativity. It lists examples and how to recognize each, and the impact each has on relationships.
- Train Your Temper
A list of positive things to do if you feel angry. From a child's perspective, this is good for inside and outside kids as well as adults.
Caution: This article comes from a site dealing with childhood abuse issues and has general references to abuse. This article covers topics including physical distance, emotional, cognitive, time and space boundaries relative to both outside people and memories, and has numerous ideas for creating memory containers, and safe places inside and in the external environment. It contains extensive practical suggestions for safety and imagery. Warning: Some of the graphics used while not explicit may be disturbing.
- Coping With Flashbacks: Goals and Techniques for Handling the Memories
This article suggests 3 possible goals in relation to dealing with flashbacks. These goals are acceptance of a flashback's full force; control or escape. A range of techniques are outlined which can be used in varying degrees and combinations depending on which goal you wish to achieve.
- Coping With Trance States
This brief essay appears on a site of resources about psychological manipulation, cult groups, sects, and new religious movements so caution is advised as you navigate the site. It defines trance states to include dissociation and gives a useful list of coping strategies under the headings Maintain a routine; Reality orientation; Reading; and Sleep interruptions.
- Dealing With Flashbacks Or Flooding
This short excerpt written by a therapist suggests making an emergency list to remind you how to take care of yourself in a crisis. It gives suggestions for activities to include on your list.
- Dissociative (sic) Identity Disorder and Staying Grounded
A survivor suggests ways that have helped her cope with intrusive memories and other crises. It contains some references to abuse memories that might trigger and also uses occasional Christian terms.
- Grounding Techniques
This page from the Mosaic Minds' Staying Safe section lists various methods to ground yourself when triggered. These ideas were compiled from community member feedback about ideas which work for them.
- Grounding Techniques
This article will help the reader deal with big feelings by helping describe some grounding techniques. It lists quite a few creative ideas.
- MPD & Imagery
This article describes how imagery can be used as a tool for improved coping and functioning and memory processing.
- Tips For Managing Triggers When YOU Choose To Process
There are times when a survivor may consciously choose to work through a trigger, in order to process it and further their healing. This article contains a list of concrete things a survivor may do in order to prepare ahead of time for certain feelings that may come up while working through a trigger.
- Using Your Dissociative Skills In Healing
Contains specific ideas for containment and pacing of processing memories
- Bill Paying Methods
This article discusses the pros and cons of different bill-paying methods - paying by mail, telephone, or online. It also lists a few things you need to be aware of if choosing to pay bills online or by telephone.
- Coaching Conversation Skills
Although this article is written from the point of view of how a parent can teach a child how to carry on a conversation with someone, general conversational techniques common to any age are discussed. This is concise guide of ways to keep a conversation going.
- Developing a Spending Plan
This article explains how a spending plan can benefit a household. In addition, this article walks the reader through creating their own spending plan in a series of 5 steps. It provides a link to a printable worksheet and also provides detailed and user friendly examples.
- How to Reorganize Your Time
This article offers many helpful suggestions on time management. It is from the perspective of a home-based business, but the tips included are good for all situations - just skip the first two paragraphs.
- Minding Your Manners. But We Don't Want You to Forget Your Manners
Here's a reminder of the top 10 etiquette mistakes in dining.
- Organize Your Time
A short list of time-management tips plus places to go for more ideas.
- Personal Hygiene
This article discusses basic grooming routines for hair, skin, teeth, hands, nails, feet and menstrual hygiene.
- Seeing How Your Past Holds the Key to Your Financial Future
This article relates three people's personal histories and how they affected current attitudes. It then goes on to discuss messages about money we may have received and why. It ends with a suggested exercize to think about your own past experiences. CAUTION: The general subject matter and discussions may be MT although there are no graphic descriptions.
- Social Etiquette
A series of videos covering basic and not-so-basic topics such as introductions, invitations, tipping, dining and how to greet various dignitaries. It includes up-to-date situations like cellular phone etiquette.
- Taking Control of Personal Finances
This is an excellent article written by a survivor of sexual abuse. She explains very well the variety of reasons that survivors may have a particularly hard time managing our personal finances. She then gives concrete, detailed techniques for overcoming those specific challenges that we face, and describes the emotional benefits achieving control over our personal finances can provide.
- Your Checking Account
This article, after a brief editorial about the problems ATM cards can cause, gives a list of tips for keeping track of your checking account and avoiding overdraft fees.
- An Easy Guide to Human Feelings
Though not specifically referencing dissociation or concentrating on trauma survivors, this article explores human feelings categorized into six types - sadness, anger, scare, happiness, excitement and tenderness. It looks at why the ability to express feelings might be inhibited; outlines ways to maintain a fluidity of feelings as healthy children do and suggests that "life is best lived when each of the feelings has its normal run through bodies in the course of a day."
- Concerning Forgiveness: The Liberating Experience of Painful Truth
A respected well-known trauma therapist disagrees with the need to forgive one's abusers. This article is MT due to blunt descriptions of abuse cases.
- Developing the Basics
This is the seventh chapter of the online book "Changing Course: Forming a Personal Perspective that Leads to Fulfillment," a book of practical psychology for achieving greater love and happiness." This article starts with a discussion of attitudes which contribute to lack of well-being, and then moves into solutions which promote effective ways of living and feeling better about one's self.
- Forgiveness and Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse
Written by a survivor, this excerpt briefly discusses what forgiveness does and doesn't mean to her and possible outcomes of decisions from a psychological rather than religious point of view.
- Golden Questions (for feelings)
This article provides a list of suggested questions to ask to "access the depths of human experiencing." The questions relate to feelings. They are written as suggestions to therapists but might be a useful self-help tool for use by multiples looking for ways to explore and understand the feelings held by others in their system.
- How to Express Difficult Feelings
This article offers simple practical guidelines and techniques for safely expressing feelings. Written by a marriage and family therapist the article is most relevant to expressing feelings in relationships but the techniques are more widely applicable.
- Sitting With Feelings
As this article states, "Many abuse survivors find it hard to tolerate having feelings, even positive ones like joy. After a lifetime of automatically dissociating from emotion for self-protection, it can be really scary to allow yourself to feel again." It gives a concrete action plan for learning how to connect with and gain mastery over big feelings.
- Victor Parachin-Forgiveness-10 Guidelines
Although this article is written by a minister and is contained within a site related to recovery from alcoholism, the article itself has only a few general references to SP terms. It discusses what forgiveness is and is not, why it may be beneficial in practical terms, and lists 10 ideas through which forgiveness can be extended. This article does contain a brief reference to SP and has Christian SP material linked at the bottom. Also, the page begins with a site disclaimer that references alcoholism and AA.
- Want a Happier Life?
This short article lists 10 concrete suggestions of ways to improve overall happiness. Caution: the 10th item contains spiritual content.
- What to Do With Your Feelings
This article begins by helping the reader to identify their feelings, and then continues with acknowledgement, origination, expression, and direction. The article ends with assisting the reader with information about what to do when they feel overloaded. This article talks about big feelings and encourages staying with them from beginning to end and may be triggering if descriptions of feelings are triggering to you.
- Where the Happiness Lies
This article discusses results of studies in the field of "positive psychology" which show personality characteristics that may be the "roots of a positive life".
Dealing with the Outside World
- Assertiveness Training
This is a free online course consisting of five segments about how to develop self-assertiveness, including learning the importance of nonverbal signals in speaking up for yourself, learning the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness and learning to negotiate from a position of mutual respect.
- Becoming a Risk -Taker
This article is a great interactive tool for the reader to learn and understand the following: what risk-taking is, what some road blocks to risk-taking are, what not being a risk-taker results in, and what the steps to becoming an effective risk-taker are. This article may be potentially triggering because of the nature of the self-involvement and process of the questioning. CAUTION: The picture at the top of the page may be mildly MT as it shows a man running.
- Being Assertive in a Diverse World
This article covers topics including what is assertiveness, selfishness and aggressiveness, what assertiveness will not do, and specific techniques for assertiveness.
- Conflict and Negotiation
This article starts out "We all face conflict at some time in our lives. But it doesn't always have to be negative, it doesn't have to end up as a war! In fact if you learn skills to deal with conflict there can be some really positive and satisfying outcomes." It goes on to give six basic, easy to remember points essential to successful negotiation. These can be used inside as well as outside.
- Developing a Friendship with Yourself
[Please note: this is the second article of a newsletter. To reach this article, it is necessary to scroll down past a potentially triggering article on why memories are repressed and recovered] This article on friendship touches briefly on losses caused by trauma and why one must first develop a friendship with one's self. It goes on to list 10 attitudes and concludes: "These ten building blocks if applied can begin to build an authentic friendship or significantly improve an existing friendship with yourself or others."
- Discover the Work You Were Born To Do
This short article offers 20 self-assessing questions designed to help identify interests and skills that will lead you in an appropriate career direction.
- How to Make Friends and Get a Social Life
This article gives practical suggestions on where to find potential friends and how to develop friendships. Caution: The webpage includes generic dating site ads.
- Ineffective Communication
This article describes common causes of poor communication and how these can be overcome. It also includes a few tips for improving communication at the end. While the article is discussing interpersonal communication, the same principles can be applied to inner family communication. This article is written specifically to counselors for their use in assisting clients in improving communication.
- Occupational Outlook Handbook
This is the official site of The Bureau of Labor Statistics, an agency within the U.S. Department of Labor. This is not an article, but it is extremely useful to anyone interested in finding out what is involved in a particular career. It breaks down and describes virtually every job available into categories such as the nature of the work, usual working conditions, employment opportunities, qualifications needed, job outlook, average earnings, and related occupations. From this site you get a really good idea of what is involved in a job so you know if it fits for you.
- The SEVEN CHALLENGES-A Workbook & Reader About Communicating More Cooperatively
This article lists seven techniques to improve communication and guide your conversations in directions that are more satisfying for both you and your conversation partners. It offers the opportunity to download for free as a PDF file or MS Word document the workbook with fuller explanations and exercises to assist in learning and implementing the challenges.
- True Friends
One individual's comments on what it means to be a friend, with a focus on the fact that two people don't have to be exactly alike in order to be friends.
- True Friendship and How to be a Good Friend
This article describes some steps a person can take to make friends with a specific individual, and a few things one can do to continue to be a friend.
- Child Abuse and Multiple Personality Disorder
This article gives a brief overview of DID. It includes symptoms, possible causes, and methods of treatment. It also discusses recognizing DID in childhood and the incidence of DID survivors perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Finally, it does discuss integration as the goal of therapy, without recognizing more current thinking of alternative successful outcomes of therapy. An interesting, easy to read article with some controversial aspects. Caution: frank, specific discussion of types of abuse.
- Childhood Trauma and Dissociation in Adulthood
This is a brief report about some research that confirms the correlation between abuse in childhood and adult dissociative experiences.
- Latest Research Findings Shed Light on Multiple Personality Disorder
This brief press release of November 2001 describes Australian research which compared the brain wave patterns of multiples with those of actors who role-played being multiple. The research results suggest that EEGs could provide physiological evidence for the authenticity of DID and could even be used for diagnosis.
- Multiple Personality Disorder History and Research
This follows the history of diagnostic criteria for DID from DSM-II through DSM-IV, along with Ross' findings on etiology and differential diagnosis from schizophrenia, and a synopsis of treatment modalities. There is also a bibliography.
- Two-Year Follow-Up of Inpatients With Dissociative Identity Disorder
The findings of this study supports clinical reports that people who have DID respond well to appropriate treatment.
- What Can Happen to Abused Children When They Grow Up-If No One Notices, Listens or Helps?
Not specifically about dissociation but is a useful listing of statistics from the research literature which gives an overview of the adverse effects of childhood abuse in adulthood.
General Information about DID/MPD
- A Message From the Other End of the Tunnel: Reflections on Hope
This is written by a therapist who is also a survivor. She describes the hopelessness that can feel overwhelming to anyone working through healing from sexual abuse, and provides an encouraging message for survivors to put our heads down and endure, until the time comes when we are able to feel hope for ourselves.
- Anniversary Reactions: A Survivor's Guide on How to Cope
This is an article about how to deal with the grief that may occur on the anniversary of a tragic event. It MAY TRIGGER as it contains two graphic accounts of violent personal trauma. However it does go on to list coping skills that may help with dealing with the anniversary dates. It also contains a section on how family and friends can help. **Note** this is NOT an article on SRA anniversary dates.
- Grieving a Lost Childhood
This is Chapter 3 of an online book by Kimberlee Roth about growing up with a parent with borderline personality disorder. However, the grieving process she discusses is applicable to many abusive childhood situations. Caution: Experiences and parental dynamics discussed may be MT.
- Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse - Grief
This article provides an in-depth look at grief, especially as it relates to survivors of childhood sexual abuse. It breaks down the grief process into five stages and explains what one may experience during each phase, while acknowledging that the process is different for every individual. It gives specific ideas of ways to deal with each step.
- Recovery From Grief and Loss
This article starts with a general discussion of grief and loss and then suggests specific steps which may be taken to help resolve these feelings. At the end of the article is a list of links specifically dealing with concerns surrounding suicidal feelings.
- Dealing With Disabilities
This pamphlet discusses the definition and impact of disabilities. It lists many resources where assistance with housing, financial, medical and legal problems may be found. It also gives helpful hints on interacting with a disabled person.
- Dental Fear in Abuse Survivors
This article discusses the unique fears that survivors of abuse may face in regard to going to the dentist. It talks about some of the reasons for these fears, including damage done by eating disorders, shame at having put off the dentist for so long, and feelings of revictimization. It explains how a dentist can help a patient with those fears if s/he is made aware of them, discusses how a survivor can work through her fears, and ends with a list of five ways to cope with dental care. This article MAY TRIGGER as it contains some graphic talk of abuse.
- Dental Tips For Survivors
Many survivors of sexual abuse find going to the dentist especially frightening and triggering. This article briefly explains why that may be, and gives a list of things a survivor can do to help them cope with going to the dentist. It also gives a list of things a dentist can do to help the survivor feel more at ease. If dentistry or sexual abuse is an issue for you, be careful in reading this article.
- MPD and Headaches
Frequent, severe headaches are a common complaint amongst multiples. This is a very good article explaining the reasons why multis may be especially prone to headaches, and giving ideas for coping with, preventing, and healing them.
- USA Social Security Administration Disability Benefits Publication No. 05-10029
This official publication covers introduction to disability and social security and covers topics such as: what do we mean by "disability"?, who can get disability benefits?, how much work do I need?, signing up for disability: how do I apply?, how can I speed up my claim?, who decides if I am disabled?, how do we determine disability?, rules for blind persons, if my claim is denied, when a claim is approved: when do my benefits start?, how much will I get from Social Security?, how do other payments affect my benefits?, are benefits taxed?, can I get Medicare if I'm disabled?, is my case reviewed?, what can cause benefits to stop?, going back to work: can I receive benefits while I work?, and other booklets available.
- 10 Grocery Shopping Tips
Covers from the planning process to the checkout counter.
- Cleaning Techniques
Some techniques one individual and her "Messie" friends use to clean their houses without getting overwhelmed. It contains a list of cleaning tools that she recommends, as well as a list of cleaning tips for "reluctant Homecarers".
- Flylady's Detailed Cleaning Lists: Zone 1-5
Step-by-step lists of things to do in cleaning each "zone" of your house. There are specific lists for the Entrance, Front Porch, Dining Room, Kitchen, Bathroom, Guest Room, Children's Bathroom, Children's Bedrooms, Office, Laundry Room, Master Bathroom, Master Bedroom, Closet, and Living Room. This application requires Adobe Acrobat.
- Grocery Shopping Tips
Tips on coupons and flyers, when to shop, where to shop, being in the store, and before and after preparations.
- Home Maintenance Checklist
An extensive list of cleaning and home maintenance details that may get overlooked on a day to day basis.
- How to Declutter
This is part of the excellent FlyLady site on household cleaning. This page gives a step by step lesson on how to go about "decluttering" a particular area of your house - and maybe even enjoy it.
- Laundry Tips
This article does not contain general information for doing laundry. It is however, composed of tips for removing stains, ironing, and how to wash uncommon and odd shaped items. The article does contain a portion on how to remove blood stains and may be triggering. However, if you skip past the first paragraph, it is not mentioned again.
- Organizing Your Laundry
This article gives some wonderful suggestions on how to tackle that growing burden of laundry that never seems to get smaller. It involves the reader with a question and answer type format and sample schedules.
- The Clutterer Within: What's Your Clutter Personality?
This is a lighthearted look at the personal traits that cause us to end up with cluttered houses. It describes several personality types: the Hoarder, Deferrer, Rebel, Perfectionist, and Sentimentalist. It explains what makes each one end up with clutter, and how each one can overcome it. This article is not written specifically for multis and it may be a little strange to read about the cluttering "personality types" in this way. On the other hand, it may make this article all the more appropriate for multiples who have several of those types within!
- Veggies to Munchies:Scanning Grocery Store Aisles
Helpful advice on how to get the most nutritional bang for your grocery buck. It explains the best way to get through the grocery store, what things to look for, and pitfalls to avoid. The original article has been copied into a forum where people have posted their own comments after the article.
- Character Feelings
This list of feelings organizes emotions into main categories and then lists them by intensity, from mild to high.
- Feelings Vocabulary Chart
This contains cartoon facial expressions to illustrate and name emotions. Note: some of these pictures and feelings may be triggering, especially with a background of SRA.
- Feelings: Identifying How You Feel
Written by a psychotherapist, this brief article provides a useful chart to help you identify feelings by noticing the physical sensations in your body.
- List of Emotions
This article lists 8 basic emotions and their emotional opposites, identifies emotions which are a combination of basic emotions, and then categorizes feelings in various ways.
Information for Significant Others
- Begin to Set Personal Boundaries
This article begins by discussing the role of self-awareness in setting boundaries, then then discusses how to set and maintain those boundaries with others. She ends with a section on overcoming guilt when setting boundaries.
- Everyday Playtime for Adults
An essay reflecting on how adults should learn to play.
- International Personality Item Pool
This is a comprehensive personality test. You have a choice of taking the long or short version to help you discover your personality traits as well as strengths and weaknesses. The long version takes about an hour and the short version can usually be done in less than 30 minutes. As the author cautions: "The primary purpose of this on line inventory is to educate the public about the five factor model of personality... The inventory does not reveal hidden, secret information about you nor does it assess serious psychological disorders... If knowledgeable acquaintances disagree with the test results, then the results are wrong."
- Self Assessment
This article is specifically about developing a positive self-image and presentation for job searches, but much of what it says is applicable to helping to realize personal assets and improving self-image in general. It lists specific activities that can help develop a positive self-image, and discusses ideas for knowing one's self and taking inventory of skills, strengths and experience.
- Self Image
This author discusses the importance of self-image and discusses the importance of visualization (including questions for the reader to answer for him/herself), factors that inhibit positive self-image and concrete suggestions for overcoming and moving beyond them. There is one very brief general spiritual reference on page 2.
- Self Nurture
Caution: This article comes from a site dealing with childhood abuse issues and has general references to abuse. This article covers topics including suggestions for recording soothing words, types of soothing actions, activities for staying busy and creating healthy distractions, art and playful activity, taking care of your body, and physical release. Warning: Some of the graphics used while not explicit may be disturbing.
- Setting Personal Boundaries-Protecting Self
This article begins by describing what personal boundaries are. It then continues about why it is important to have them. The article then continues with a thorough and descriptive overview of ways to set and then to protect our personal boundaries. The article also addresses how these changes in setting our boundaries will affect our current relationships with our friends, our partners, and ourselves. Warnings: The article talks about feelings and asserting oneself, this could be potentially triggering to some individuals. However, there are not any graphic accounts of abuse or abusive situational recollections describing lack of assertiveness.
- Tips For Self-Care
Caring for ourselves is something all of us need to learn to do - multis and singletons alike. This is a list of suggestions for ways to comfort and nurture ourselves as adults.
- Twelve Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self Esteem
This article describes 12 activities to practice to help build high self-esteem.
- 44 Personalities, But the Artist Shines
A NY Times article about the struggles and accomplishments of Judy Castelli, a DID artist and activist.
This is an article called "Flashback" written by a woman with DID. It is potentially VERY TRIGGERING, but very effectively tells what her experience is like and the horrendous damage that abuse does to a child. Adobe Acrobat is needed to read this article.
- Programming: Understanding, Recognizing, and Nullifying It
This article defines programming, how to recognize it, ideas to change or halt the effects of programming, steps to take in the midst of an active recurrence of messages, and how to work with those inside who believe the messages. WARNING: Trigger potential exists for those who have this type of background. There is nothing graphic, but resistance to the messages may be encountered. SRA terms are used.
- Simplifying Complex Programming
Written by a survivor/T, this article, as the author says, gives some rather simple and easy to use methods of working with obscure programming. It may be TRIGGERING as it does reference experiences from the author's past.
- Sp*n Programming: A Newly Uncovered Technique of Systematic Mind Control
This article details what sp*n programming is and how it is used throughout a personality system. Also provides examples of how it can be produced in a person. NOTE: This has SRA references and may be HIGHLY TRIGGERING. Please use extreme caution when going to it.
- 10 Steps to Freedom from Emotional Eating
The premise of this article is: "...this innovative model approaches overeating from a new perspective. They [the 10 steps] talk about 'aliveness' and feelings and tuning into our bodies, not about calorie counting" to recover from binge eating. It lists three attitudes which contribute to it, and seven attitudes and strategies to develop. It ends with an exercise entitled "What will true recovery look like?" for the reader to complete.
- A Comprehensive Approach to Suicide Prevention
A general discussion of suicidality, including an excellent set of links to discussions on how to help someone who is suicidal, and many ways of finding hope and discovering alternatives for those who are suicidal.
- Alternatives to Self-Injury
This page from the Mosaic Minds' Staying Safe section lists various activities to use as a substitute for self-injury. These ideas were compiled from community member feedback about ideas which work for them.
- Dealing With Urges
This article assists the reader with understanding addictive behaviors as well as offers suggestions on how to overcome addictive behaviors. The trigger rating is minimal considering it doesn't describe specific behaviors in detail.
- Help for Self-Injurers
Includes reasons for SI, how to know when you're ready to stop, how to stop (including substitute behaviors and explanations of why they work), useful links to related sites.
- Secret Diet Disasters of Trauma Survivors
This article specifically discusses the secret eating habits of trauma survivors. This article has descriptions of past abuse and is an article about bulimia and anorexia as well as past trauma. It discusses eating disorders as a coping mechanism to cope with current stress but the mechanism is developed from past trauma etc. The trigger rating is potentially high.
- Self Destructive Behaviors In Women
This article is heavy in its description of types of physical and nonphysical self-destructive behaviors that women may possibly engage in. It also details avenues of recovery and growth which women may become involved in. Readers should definitely approach this article with caution due to the nature of its descriptive content.
- Healing From Shame Associated With Traumatic Events
This article explains what shame is, how it affects us, and how it can result from the experience of any kind of trauma. It discusses how to release and work through shame, through a process of learning to trust, talking to someone we trust about the things we are ashamed of, experimenting with forgiving ourselves, and keeping in mind that there is hope for recovery. *CAUTION* - this article contains a graphic story of adult sexual assault.
- No, It Was Not Your Fault!
Children who are victims of abuse tend to take on responsibility for the abuse, and believe that it is their fault. This feeling of responsibility as children leads to the feelings of shame that are so common in adult survivors of abuse. This article discusses the many reasons why children feel compelled to take on that responsibility. It encourages adult survivors to understand where their shame comes from, an important step in being able to release and recover from it. This article provides some very helpful information but it *MAY TRIGGER* - it contains graphic talk of abuse, perp manipulation techniques, and a brief graphic account of animal attack.
- Reduce Excessive Shame to Normal - Perspective, Symptoms and Recovery Options
This article gives a comprehensive overview of causes and effects of shame and guilt, as well as suggestions for ways to overcome them. This article is written by an MSW therapist having an inner family 'parts' though not necessarily multiple perspective of a person. Caution: Adult subjects and past traumatic incidents are referenced, as are blending and SP related ideas. Some of the language and concepts here may seem dismissive to the individuality and equality of each within a multiple system. However, this does not affect the applicability of the basic information of the article.
- Shame: Destructive or Useful?
This article briefly discusses how destructive shame can be, and presents a theory of how shame may develop in children whose parents show disapproval when they are showing off and demanding attention. It encourages parents to pay as much attention to their children as possible, and "experience the joy of the child's unabashed narcissism".
- Still Think the Abuse Was Your Fault? Take One of These
Practical actions to do to help understand that you are not responsible for childhood sexual abuse. Note: there is one short section that references SP matters.
Survivor Based Organizations
- A Recovery Bill of Rights for Trauma Survivors
This article discusses personal authority, boundaries, communication, and rights relative to psychotherapy.
- Boundary Issues
This brief article offers a review list for the therapist to examine their own feelings and behaviours towards their client to check whether they (the therapist) are at risk of violating professional boundaries. Although the article is written for the therapist, from the client's perspective the review list could help identify whether a particular reaction or behavior by a therapist is a breach of professional boundaries. Read with caution if adult issues are triggering for you.
- Choosing a Therapist
This article provides some general tips for choosing a therapist as well as explaining the different types of therapies available.
- Choosing the Right Therapist for You
Discusses a positive approach for finding a therapist and also lists what a good therapist should and shouldn't do.
- Guidelines For Non-Sexual Dual Relationships and Boundaries in Psychotherapy
This interesting article argues for a distinction to be made between boundary violations and boundary crossings in therapy. It suggests that while boundary violations are always harmful to the client, boundary crossings may be used as an integral part of a treatment plan and be of benefit to the client. Written for the therapist but easily accessible to the client it offers key- point guidelines and useful in-text links to further articles which support the author's position including a set of links to the ethics codes of major professional associations.
- How to Choose a Therapist - What To Look For
This article lists 22 characteristics to look for in a therapist.
- How to Get the Most from Your Therapy
This article, written by a clinical psychologist, starts out: "Approximately one third of all therapists consistently harm and help their clients get worse. Another third of the therapist do no harm, but they also do not help. Only one third of the therapists consistently help their clients get better!" It gives suggestions on how to maximize the possibility of finding a competent therapist who is a good fit for what the client needs, and his view of the most critical factors for successful psychotherapy. It discusses the difficulties of working within a managed care insurance system, and ends with actions for which the client is responsible in order to benefit from the work.
- PTSD survivors talk about finding a therapist
A number of survivors relate their experiences in looking for a therapist. One includes questions she asked candidates. This article may be MT due to difficult experiences and words they encountered.
- Ritual Abuse - the Search for a Good Therapist
This article starts off with a potentially triggering true account of a therapist's own declaration of involvement in RA activities told in graphic detail. It goes on to discuss difficulties in finding a good therapist and gives general ideas on how to locate one. It then moves into possible questions to ask during phone and initial contacts. It ends with a caution of what to expect from therapy as well as what not to.
- Therapists and Therapy: Choosing the Right One for You
This article starts off with a reminder that the one seeking services has rights as a consumer. It goes on to list attitudes and behaviors necessary in a therapist, includes a list of questions to ask candidates and questions to ask yourself after the initial contact to help in evaluation of the first session.
- Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress and Dissociative Conditions: What to Look For and How to Choose a Therapist
Comprehensive coverage of where to find referrals, possible questions to ask (an interview questionnaire), and signs of progress. A quite comprehensive coverage of things to look for and expect in a therapeutic relationship.
- 'Multiple Personality Gift'
text of a workbook for "household management", designed to build cooperation and harmony in the system. The word "integration" is used, but in relation to this concept of cooperative effort. This could be useful for systems which have elected not to 'integrate' in the conventional sense.
- 5 Ways to Help Ease Trauma for Children
This article is specifically aimed at helping children with the emotional effects of war, in particular the 9/11 attacks. However, the information contained within can be well applied to helping littles or outside children cope with any trauma. The article explains the differences in psychological development at different stages of childhood, and how different coping strategies may be helpful for kids of different ages. It goes on to describe three coping mechanisms that adults can assist children with: emotional processing, roles and routines, and distraction.
- About Littles
This article, originally from the DividedHearts newsletter, speaks to those multis who may be in situations where they can't buy lots of toys, play youthful games, and outwardly act like children... even though some of those within ARE children! It provides lots of ideas for things we can do for our littles that will help them heal and enjoy themselves, without being so obvious to people around us on the outside.
- An Introduction to Effective Parts Work
This article discusses the basics of developing internal communication. It suggests detailed, concrete actions to use, including ideas for those who cannot 'see' their others. This article is written by an MSW therapist having an inner family 'parts' perspective though not necessarily multiple view of a person. Caution: Adult subjects and past traumatic incidents are referenced, as are blending and SP related ideas. Some of the language and concepts here may seem dismissive to the individuality and equality of each within a multiple system. However, this does not affect the applicability of the basic information of the article.
A discussion of different methods of communication among inside system members. There are sections on journaling, using a tape recorder, expression through artwork, and holding inside community meetings.
- Developing Intrasystem Cooperation
This article describes how to set up and run a meeting of insiders in order to arrive at a solution that benefits all parties at least to some degree.
- Having Inside Rules for the Good of All
This article describes the inside community meeting as an inner communication tool for multiples. It contains a list of ideas for system rules that may be helpful for all members of the group to abide by.
- Helping Littles Learn to Heal
One of the biggest problems with helping littles and teenage family members/alters is trying to undo the conditioning and confusion the abuse caused. This article explains some of the emotional needs of littles, and describes some ways that we can help our littles meet those needs, including many ideas for fun and comforting activites. There is a section at the end giving specific ideas for what to do for littles during the holidays.
- Helping Your System Find or Make Safe Places For All
This article outlines a step by step process for creating safe places inside. Caution: This is on a webpage which displays Christian text and symbols bordering the Safe Place text.
- Internal Conference Room Ego-State Therapy and Resolution of Double Binds
This article offers a brief overview of a therapeutic technique which uses guided imagery to create an internal safe place to encourage communication between dissociated parts of the self. It lists simplified steps to applying the technique to resolving double binds and gives a case history which includes the survivor's own views of her treatment. The article specifically relates to preparing trauma survivors for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Re-processing (EMDR) but its principles could be used in other contexts. Requires Acrobat Reader.
- MPD & Journaling
Journaling can help to establish and maintain communication and cooperation among the parts of the system. This article is a general introduction to journaling as a method of communication between members of a system. It gives tips for methods and procedures to begin to facilitate internal dialogue.